20-something guy in the middle of a group: Guys, guys. I've got big news.
(group quiets down)
20-something guy: I just got a text from Ross. It says “Let's put it this way: they've stopped the ride, are cleaning up my vomit, and I'm leaving in a wheelchair. Spaceship Earth.”
(group cheers)
Disney World
Orlando, Florida
Boy standing in line for smoothie: That better not be sparkle lips gloss.
Girl standing with him, applying lip gloss: It is, but it has like too many sparkles.
Boy: That's even worse! (pause) My one friend woke up with a ring of sparkles around his… well, you know…
University Fair
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: ashley
Girl on phone: So I walked in on my flatmate using my electric toothbrush to… yeah, doing that. And here I am, still brushing my teeth with it. That is just disgusting. Disgusting!
Cape Town
South Africa
Girl scout to 20-ish woman: Did you even shave this week?
UCLA
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: J
Lady: And as soon as the doctor said “stick out your tongue,” she knew her goose was cooked!
West Chester, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Theresa
Teacher: What that show didn't tell you is that ferrets smell like dirty wet dog.
Seven-year-old girl: Well, you know you can get their scent glands removed.
Teacher: Yeah, but is that really good for them?
Seven-year-old girl: I think it's about the same as removing a dog's testicles.
Seattle, Washington
Queer on cell: Stop it. She’s too chicken to be anorexic. It’s like, she’ll starve herself for two days, then eat a huge cookie.
Los Angeles, California
Sex ed teacher, drawing something in red marker: It looks like a tooth, but… (continues drawing) …it's supposed to be a uterus!
UW Rock County
Janesville, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Aku
Girl: Sometimes I like to look at pictures of deaf people online. They don't look any different!
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/299487447/than-what-blind-people.html
Overheard by: Ian
Girl to boy: I thought you lost your voice when you dropped your laptop?
Queens Park Community School
London
England
