Insults

See? You're Obviously a New Yorker!

Nigerian guy, joking: Ha ha! Yeah, it's probably because I am black, hey.
American girl: Oh my god, you can't say that! You have to say “African-American.”
Nigerian guy: But I'm not African-American; I'm Nigerian. I suppose you could say “African”?
American girl: No, look, we learned it in elementary school! It's “African-American”!
Nigerian guy: Okay… So you're Scandinavian, by that rationale.
American girl: No, I'm American! You're African-American!
English guy: Please shut the fuck up.

Cambridge
England

Overheard by: TopCat

You’re Like Two-Legged Mace

Girl (about her college): The on-campus security is really good too, the campus police will get to you in like, 30 seconds. I’m still thinking about getting mace or something.
Girl’s younger brother: No one wants to rape you.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Quazarfreez

Don’t Worry, Sweetie, You’ll Love the Gym Membership

Wife eating cheeseburger: I know what my New Year’s resolution is going to be…
Distracted husband: To lose weight?
Wife: What? No! Why would you say that?! Do you think I’m getting fat?
Husband: Oh! No, no, no — you’re not fat. You’re perfect! I love you so much just the way you are.
Wife: Whatever. I better be getting a good fucking Christmas present, and you definitely won’t be seeing me naked for a very long time.

Wendy’s
New Hartford, New York

As Explained in Thurber's The Wonderful O

Student to another: You're an asshole!
Science teacher: If you're going to say that, you should use the proper term, which is “anus.”

High School
Auckland
New Zealand

Why Else Would I Be Teaching Public School?

Kid: You sound like a special needs person.
Teacher: Maybe I am a special needs person.

http://overheardincomo.blogspot.com

Overheard by: Kelsaaaaay Lee.

Unless You Could Find Some Cute Coveralls

Blonde teenage girl #1: If I don't get asked to prom I might just drop out of school and become a mechanic.
Blonde teenage girl #2: I know… that would suck.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/267312131/high-school-problems-are-the-most-important-problems-youll-ever-face.html

Overheard by: high school

Just More Large Aquatic Rodents

Lady: Used to be that only muskrats wanted to live in swamps. Nowadays only executives do.

http://www.overheardinchtown.blogspot.com/

Overheard by: wl

We Should Interview Her for That Vacancy in the Ugly Friend Department

Teen girl #1: Hey, you know the chubby girl in chorus, right?
Teen girl #2: Elizabeth?
Teen girl #1: No, I’m talking about the whale.
(teen girl #1 makes elephant noises)
Teen girl #2: The one that laughs like a jackal?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, her!
Teen girl #2: Oh my god, I love her.
Teen girl #1: Me too! She’s great…

Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: Drama Eavesdropper

My Campaign Would Be Like Whoopi Goldberg's Marriage to Ted Danson

Very white English major girl: I could never be a politician. I'd be all like “bitch, you're trippin' balls. Sit yo' fat toupeed ass down!”

Universisty Station
Calgary
Canadia

But I’m an Only Child

Mom: You know, you’re a strange duck.
Three-year-old son: Yeah? Well, you have a big nose! [Laughs hysterically.]Mom: Out of all my kids, I like you the least.

City bus
Winnipeg, Manitoba
Canadia

Overheard by: Sarah

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