Like Putting Mayo on French Fries

Jock on cell: I bet he’s a lame fuck. He wouldn’t do any of that weird stuff you like.

Barton Springs Pool
Austin, Texas

Posted on July 21, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Insults, Jocks, Kink, On the phone, Texas

Whether This Is a Turn-on or a Turn-off Says a Lot About Her As a Woman

Drunk white guy making out with Indian girl, shouting at a guy with Christian slogans: Oi! Oi! Christians fuck off!

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Posted on July 20, 2015
Christianity, Drunks, England, Insults, Weirdness

Beverly Hills? You're Already There.

Buff Asian kid, squinting at label on microscope: Made in… Douche-land? What the fuck is douche-land?

Beverly Hills High School
Beverly Hills, California

Posted on July 19, 2015
Asians, California, Geography, Insults, Kids, Names, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Stupidity

Who Also Happens to Be My Husband.

Teen mum #1 with baby in pushchair: Ah! Lovely baby boy! Who's the father?
Teen mum #2 with baby in pushchair: That scumbag from the pub a few months back.

Clothes Store
Dartford
England

Posted on July 16, 2015
England, Insults, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Stores, Teens

And She Totally Fled the Trade Towers on 9/11

Drunk hipster girl: Let's drunk dial Cameron!
Drunker hipster guy: I hate Cameron!
Drunkest hipster guy: You know what my biggest problem with Cameron is? She wasn't in New Orleans during hurricane Katrina.

Hollywood Bowl
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Chantily

Posted on July 14, 2015
California, Drunks, Guys, Hipsters, Insults, Offers and requests, Tourist attractions, Wishes

See? You're Obviously a New Yorker!

Nigerian guy, joking: Ha ha! Yeah, it's probably because I am black, hey.
American girl: Oh my god, you can't say that! You have to say “African-American.”
Nigerian guy: But I'm not African-American; I'm Nigerian. I suppose you could say “African”?
American girl: No, look, we learned it in elementary school! It's “African-American”!
Nigerian guy: Okay… So you're Scandinavian, by that rationale.
American girl: No, I'm American! You're African-American!
English guy: Please shut the fuck up.

Cambridge
England

Overheard by: TopCat

Posted on July 13, 2015
Education, England, Foreigners, Girls, Guys, Insults, Race, Stupidity, Words

You’re Like Two-Legged Mace

Girl (about her college): The on-campus security is really good too, the campus police will get to you in like, 30 seconds. I’m still thinking about getting mace or something.
Girl’s younger brother: No one wants to rape you.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Quazarfreez

Posted on July 10, 2015
Assholes, Crimes, Default, Girls, Insults, Pennsylvania, Siblings, Wishes

Don’t Worry, Sweetie, You’ll Love the Gym Membership

Wife eating cheeseburger: I know what my New Year’s resolution is going to be…
Distracted husband: To lose weight?
Wife: What? No! Why would you say that?! Do you think I’m getting fat?
Husband: Oh! No, no, no — you’re not fat. You’re perfect! I love you so much just the way you are.
Wife: Whatever. I better be getting a good fucking Christmas present, and you definitely won’t be seeing me naked for a very long time.

Wendy’s
New Hartford, New York