She’s Not Even My Real Mom — She Won Me in a Poker Game

Six-year-old soccer player #1: It’s about having fun! It’s not all about winning.
Six-year-old soccer player #2: My mom says it is.

Lincoln City, Oregon

Posted on October 31, 2022
Gossip, Kids, Oregon

God, You're So Competitive, Jason!

Ditzy woman: It would look more like Australia if it was an island, because Australia is an island… right?
Ditzy woman's daughter: I think that's the smartest thing that's ever been said in my presence.
Ditzy woman: Well, somebody in this family has to be brilliant.
Four-year-old boy: Dogs are kinda like vampires because they both have pointy teeth.

Harrisburg, Illinois

Posted on October 29, 2022
Animals, Compliments, Geography, Illinois, Kids, Stupidity, Women

When the Line Is Really Long

Little girl pointing to handicapped sink: Mommy, do you know what that’s for?
Mom: It’s a sink for people in wheelchairs, honey.
Little girl: No! It’s where boys pee!

Bathroom, JCPenney’s
Forest Park, Georgia

Overheard by: Kelly

Posted on October 28, 2022
Georgia, Kids, Moms, Pee

And You Stole Me from a Playground!

Little boy, standing next to a car: Daddy, this isn’t our car! Daddy, what are you doing? This isn’t our car!
Man: Look, buddy, you’ve got to stop saying that when we’re in parking lots. [to a couple walking by] I just got a new car.
Little boy: No you didn’t!

AMC Theatres
Owings Mills, Maryland

Overheard by: they steal cars, dont they?

Posted on October 24, 2022
Advice, Compare and contrast, Dads, Default, Family ties, Fears, Kids, Lies, Maryland

See –Look at Her Go to Town on That Man’s Shoe

Little girl: Daddy! Daddy! Emma just kissed the shopping cart!
Father: She’ll kiss worse things in her life.

Hannaford
Yarmouth, Maine

Overheard by: Jade

Posted on October 20, 2022
Compare and contrast, Dads, Family ties, Girls, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Kids, Maine, Siblings, Stores

From Then On, Whenever Sally Did Naughty Things, She Blamed Baby Jesus

Grocery store bagger (handing stuffed cat to little girl): So, what are you going to name your new kitty?
Little girl: Baby Jesus!

California

Posted on October 9, 2022
Animals, California, Customers, Default, Employees, Jesus, Kids, Names, Shopping, Stores

I Hunger

Six-year-old boy to uncle about to leave for a trip: Bring me a woman!

Simi Valley, California

Posted on September 27, 2022
California, Default, Guys, Kids, Offers and requests, Sexuality

I Don't Like Feeling Exotic

Little girl to mother: I always get weirded out when we come to Asian markets.
Mom: Why is that?
Little girl: Because there are so many Asian people in one place!
Mom: Why is that weird?

Uwajimaya
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Koley