Makes You Want to Roll Around in Her, Huh?

Cute girl: This lotion is great! I actually have it on now, and keep smelling myself!
Teen boy, dragged in by his mother: Really? Can I smell you?
Cute girl: Sure! Smell me!
Teen boy: Wow, you do smell great! Mom, smell her!

Soap Store
New York City, New York

Posted on June 4, 2009
Default, Family ties, Girls, Guys, New York, Offers and requests, Questions, Sensory experiences, Stores, Teens

Dear Abby– My Friend Has an “Awkward” Husband…

Woman #1: Oh my god, Jason Statham is so hot! I want to funk him so bad!
Woman #2: I know! When you're done, I'm next!
Hubby of woman #1: And when they're done, I want to smell his cock.

Islip, New York

Overheard by: Who is Jason Statham?

Posted on June 2, 2009
Default, Guys, Hubbies, New York, Offers and requests, Penis, Sex, Weirdness, Women

Trevor Had Watched One Lifetime Movie Marathon Too Many

Thug #1, in restroom stall: Oh, shit!
Thug #2, outside restroom: What's goin' on?
Thug #1: Why's it bleeding? It's bleeding! Why's it bleeding?!
Thug #2: Yo, you better wash your goddamn hands after you done in there.

Crossgates Mall
Albany, New York

Overheard by: Dack

Posted on May 24, 2009
Advice, Default, Hands, Malls, New York, Questions, Thugs

So They'll Take Care Of the Dogs

Guy #1: No man, I told her I don't want kids. I just want dogs.
Guy #2: Then why not just have kids?

Manhattan, New York

Posted on May 15, 2009
Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Kids, New York, Questions

Have You Considered Sarah Lawrence?

Girl #1: Let me suggest to you…
Girl #2 (interrupting): Why can't I take like drugs or sex? Something that interests me? Not like race… Not that it isn't that interesting… Not that I'm racist. I'm not a racist. (nervous laugh)

Long Island University, New York

Overheard by: Reena

Posted on May 2, 2009
Advice, Colleges & Universities, Default, Drugs, Girls, New York, Questions, Race, Sex

As Seen in Two Girls, One Cut

Male suit: Did you know that the most common cosmetic surgery these days is vaginal rejuvenation?
Female suit: “Vaginal rejuvenation,” that's a mouthful.

Starbucks
New York

Overheard by: Caged Monkey

Posted on May 1, 2009
Default, Girls, Guys, New York, Questions, Restaurants, Suits, Vagina, Words

Nobody Ever Wins the Which-Sex's-Sex-Is-Best Argument

Straight girl: Butt sex, butt sex, butt sex!
Gay guy: You really love saying that, don't you?
Straight girl: Yes!
Gay professor: Do you prefer anal to vaginal!
Straight girl: Ewww, fuck no! I don't want anything in my asshole! See, I have a vagina. I have options, unlike gay men.
Gay professor: Ah, you'll never know the pleasures of prostate stimulation.

Westchester, New York

Posted on April 29, 2009
Ass, Backdoor, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Guys, New York, Queers, Questions, Students, Teachers, Vagina

So He's More Of a Business Associate Than a Friend

Climbing instructor to terrified new climber being held by another: Is he or is he not your friend? Would a friend drop you?
Terrified new climber: Well, he's my husband, so I don't know!

Climbing Gym
New York City, New York

Posted on April 26, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, New York, Questions, Relationships

Don't Stop 'til After Your Story's Climax

AP English teacher: Now, remember kids, what do I always say you all should do?
Student: Procreate?
AP English teacher: No! Well, eh…I do say that too, but I meant “proofread!”

Northport, Long Island
New York

Posted on April 23, 2009
Advice, Default, Kids, New York, Questions, Teachers, Words

We've Given the Bin Ladens Enough, Sir

Crazy Polish man: I need a receipt!
Cashier: Sir, you can't have a receipt if you didn't buy anything.
Crazy Polish man: I need a receipt. I need a receipt or I'll kill you…because I am Osama Bin Laden.

Starbucks
New York City, New York

Posted on April 20, 2009
Character, Crazies, Death & dying, Default, Employees, Foreigners, Names, New York, Offers and requests, Restaurants, Threats, Weirdness