Offers and requests

Lady to friend: So I told him… ten dollars for a hand job!
Friend: Good for you! What an asshole!

Ashland & North Ave
Chicago, Illinois

Very drunk 20-something girl trying to play darts: So what do I do?
30-something guy #1: Just throw 'em.
30-something guy #2: Failing that, love, just take your top off.
Very drunk 20-something girl: Cheeky motherfucker! Get me a vodka and I'll do it!

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Salesman to guy purchasing new phone: Yeah, we can totally transfer all your contacts and calendar and stuff to this new phone.
Guy (in English accent): Well, can you do that on this other model?
Salesman: No, you can't transfer your contacts from your old one to this model.
Guy (in English accent): Oh, that doesn't matter. I don't have any friends.

Austin, Texas

Goth girl getting stitches: When I want a tasty man snack, I have me a PB&J!

Skyridge Hospital ER
Denver, Colorado

Kid: Dad, can we get Pop-Tarts?
Ponytail dad: No.
Kid: Why?
Ponytail dad: Because they're… disgustingly poisonous!

Carrollton, Georgia

Overheard by: Kez

Very drunk girl, exiting party: Oh my, it's dark outside!
Sober girl: Oh, are you gonna need help back to your dorm or anything?
Very drunk girl: Oh, no. Wine gives me night vision.

University of Kentucky

Overheard by: Emmatastic

Professor: I want you to write about the first time you did something. It can be anything. The first time you rode a bike. The first time you made a baby. (awkward pause) Wait!

Syracuse University
New York

Conductor: This train will terminate at Stratford. The next station is Waterloo. Please change here for the Bakerloo, Northern and Waterloo & City lines. Alternatively you can also change for Waterloo International, catch the next Eurostar, go to Paris and show the French how to play rugby.

London
England

Overheard by: kat

Customer: I’d like some tea… Organic mint, please.
Barista: Okay, we have organic lemon and organic Earl Grey.
Customer: Um… Actually, I wanted the organic mint.
Barista: Oh, we have that, too.
Customer: Okay, then. That’s the one I’ll have.

Design Coffee shop, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Just Me

Little girl: (talking over airport announcement)
Father: Quiet for a second!
Girl: (continues talking until announcement is over)
Father: Great. What if he was saying “Run! Zombies!”? We'll be sitting here like idiots while the zombies come…

O'Hare Airport
Chicago, Illinois