Blind old lady to old lady friend: Oh my, you started peeing so fast.
Old lady friend: Yes, it's because I stand up.
Blind old lady: Ohhhh…
Old lady friend: Yes, not a lot of women know how to stand up, you know.
Blind old lady: Yes, that's true. My mother used to stand.
CSULA Women's Bathroom
California
Overheard by: itshahaholly
Nurse to elderly woman trying to escape from old folks' home: Come on, ma'am, we need to get you back inside.
Elderly woman: I don't need to get back inside, I need to get home! Rape! Rape!
Christchurch
New Zealand
Old man on subway to perfect stranger: So I give this woman three eggs to put in her pocket. You know, crack. And, can you hold this?
(young woman holds coffee for him)
Old man: So I've got these eggs…
Subway
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
80-something lady to another: I saw Bertie and his lady friend at the state fair. Yes, she's a large woman, tall and quite big. I mean, you could say that about a lot of people, but she's very large. When she hugs him, it's all lady and no Bertie!
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/379925866/thats-how-bertie-likes-it.html
Overheard by: poor bertie!
Confused elderly female patient, trying to punch staff: If you kill me, my family will hunt you down and take all your money!
Nurse's aide, trying to clean up patient: Yeah, we hear that a lot.
Hospital
Burlingame, California
60-something man: I don't want to be with my first wife for an eternity! She is Satan's sister.
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: Fluffy
Elderly man: This abstinence shit the Republicans get on about… Abstinence my ass! I've been looking at girls since I was 11. I mean: come on, the Virgin Mary is crying!
North Haven, Connecticut
Overheard by: Sara
Seriously old lady: Tell the oil companies to piss off… We're taking over!
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: skeeta
Older woman on phone: June* is in jail right now, but she'll be into work a little later.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/349982709/hopefully-following-a-shower.html
Overheard by: o_o
Old Midwestern lady #1: All these kids bringing their videos games everywhere!
Old Midwestern lady #2: It's depressing! My son-in-law brings his laptop everywhere. Always on the internet.
Old Midwestern lady #1: Is he using one of those blueberries? Or blackpods?
Old Midwestern lady #2: I don't know, I'm just glad I'm old.
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: thankfully on a different flight
