…Oh Shoot, I Ruined the Surprise.

Young lady with English accent, on cell: I told you I was going to be home in 15 minutes. (pause) I'm going to kill you. I'm going to stab you in the eye with a fork.

Chico, California

Overheard by: xfleshxwoundx

Posted on April 1, 2010
California, Foreigners, On the phone, Threats, Time Management, Violence

I Know I'm Flakey, But I Was Just Itching to Shop.

Foreign chick on cell: I'm at the gonorrhea. (pause) No, I'm at the gonorrhea. Yah… In yewstun. I'm at deelurds in the gonorrhea.

Dillards, The Galleria
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: OMG She had VD

Posted on March 30, 2010
Foreigners, Language barrier, On the phone, STDs, Stores, Texas, Weirdness

Ever Seen One That Could Crack a Walnut Before?

Guy on cell: Look, I'm just saying. If he wants to play hardball, I'm totally prepared to show him just how hard my balls are.

http://community.livejournal.com/overheardatyork/47161.html

Overheard by: Jon

Posted on March 26, 2010
Balls, Guys, On the phone, Overheard at York, Threats, Words

And, in That Moment, I Fell a Little Bit More in Love with Him

Big black lady on cell, while eating: No, girl, you don't even know! He actually said, “do you have a beer in your pocket? Cuz I'd really like to get in yo' pants!”

Irving, Texas

Overheard by: cherryindallas

Posted on March 25, 2010
Black people, Etiquette, Fat people, On the phone, Questions, Sex, Texas

I Think I Had This Roommate…

Scruffy 20-something guy on cell: I don't care what you do, just leave my fucking rats alone!

Eureka, California

Overheard by: Barry Evans

Posted on March 25, 2010
Animals, California, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Insults, On the phone

Just Like They Taught Us at Harvard Business School

Middle-aged woman on cell: Unless he doubles my salary, I'm not sleeping with him.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/09/sexual-harassment-done-right.html

Overheard by:

Posted on March 13, 2010
Eavesdrop DC, Jobs & Careers, Money, On the phone, Sex, Women

Finally, a Version Of “You're Having My Baby” Your Editors Like

Nasty smoking girl on cell: So did your girlfriend cry when she found out that I'm having your baby? (pause) Haha, that is so funny, I so thought she would!

Adelaide
Australia

Overheard by: hayley

Posted on March 3, 2010
Australia, Infidelity, On the phone, Pregnancy

Translation: I'm Afraid You'd Kill Me

50-something guy on cell: Yeah, so honestly I don't think this will work out… I think your sexuality is a little… young for me.

Starbucks
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: dates older guys

Posted on February 22, 2010
Age and ageing, Bars & Clubs, Canadia, Compare and contrast, Guys, On the phone, Sexuality

Tonight on Ask Nurse Ninja

Woman on cell: You know what you should do? You should punch her in the temple. (pause) Well, you need to punch her in the temple so you can resolve this in a professional manner.

MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on February 7, 2010
Advice, Body parts, Georgia, On the phone, Train, Violence, Women

Ad: He's Back, and This Time It's Very Personal

Girl on phone: When you get to the game room, don't sit next to Jesus, he's watching porn.

Georgetown, Delaware

Overheard by: Kate

Posted on February 2, 2010
Delaware, Girls, Jesus, On the phone, Porn

On the phone