Well, We Do Have a Couple Of Pre-op Trannies

Girl: Oh, I'm doing Zumba today at five.
Guy: What's Zumba? Can I do Zumba?
Girl: Well…you can.
Guy: I can?
Girl: Yeah, it's not like there's a sign that says “No penises allowed.”
Guy: But “no penises” is implied.

University of Miami
Florida

Posted on July 18, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Florida, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Penis, Questions

It's Like in the Bible, or Something

Dude: And so you go to sleep all relaxed, but when you wake up, they cut off part of your penis!

University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia

Posted on July 18, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Penis, Virginia, Weirdness

Especially with This Little Pink Bow

Three-year-old boy to grandfather: Do you have a penis?
Grandfather: Yes, I do.
Boy: I have a penis, too. My penis is small. My penis is cute.

Cincinnati, Ohio

Overheard by: Vejewsbian

Posted on July 11, 2015
Compliments, Dads, Default, Gender issues, Guys, Kids, Ohio, Penis, Pride, Questions

If Only There Were a Word for That…

Teenage girl: I can't figure out if he's gay or straight. Maybe he's, like, an equal-opportunity kind of guy?
20-something girl: Oh yeah, like, “Bring me your penises! Bring me your vaginas! None shall be turned away!”

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Posted on July 11, 2015
Default, Girls, Louisiana, Penis, Questions, Sexuality, Teens, Vagina

When Culinary Students Have Orgies

Tiny college girl waiting in line: The cookies are soooooo good!
Tall male friend, confused: The ice cream?
Tiny college girl: The penises!
Tall male friend: Oh!
Tiny college girl: We just didn't let them cool!

Stop & Shop
Manhattan, New York

Posted on July 10, 2015
Food, Friends, New York, Penis, Sorority types, Stores

Kid Surprises Are Fun, but Illegal

Woman #1, approaching register counter: Ooh! Kinder eggs! I love those things!
Woman #2: What are they?
Woman #1: They're chocolate! With something inside!
Cashier: They're hollow chocolate eggs.
Woman #1: With a surprise inside!
Woman #2: Ew!
Cashier: It's a toy.
Woman #2: Oh. A toy.
Cashier: Whoa, okay, just imagine you were a kid again, and what a surprise meant when you were a kid.
Woman #2: I know… I know. It's just, adult surprises are never fun.
Woman #1, walking out of store: What were you thinking it was going to be? A penis that would squirt all over you?
Woman #2: You never know! Adult surprises are always bad!

San Francisco, California

Posted on July 8, 2015
Candy, Clients, Cum, Employees, Kids, Penis, Questions, San Francisco, Shopping, Toys

And He Prefers to Make Love, Not War.

Dude to chick: William Howard Taft. That's what I call my penis. Because he is large and in charge. And he got stuck in a bathtub.

High School Law Class
New York

Overheard by: Adrienne

Posted on July 4, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Names, New York, Penis, School [Elem., Middle, & High]

Last Time I Use Flammable Lube

Man on phone: So I took my dick out of her ass and started smoking a cigarette… What else was I supposed to do?

Subway
New York City, New York

Posted on July 3, 2015
Backdoor, Default, Guys, New York, On the phone, Penis, Questions, Smoking, Train, Weirdness

But You Can Have a Nose-Head, Like in Those Allergy Commercials

Sensible chick to dude: Look, you can only have one dick, and it can’t be your entire body.

http://overheardatstanford.blogspot.com/2006/05/do-you-have-people-sized-condoms.html

Overheard by: bob

Posted on June 24, 2015
Chicks, Overheard at Stanford, Penis

At Some Point, Sex Starts to Feel Like Surgery

Slutty girl in college dorm: Yeah, I know four or five guys who wear Magnums… Bitches are huge!

Lubbock, Texas

Overheard by: Maximagnum

Posted on June 23, 2015
Compare and contrast, Condoms, Penis, Sorority types, Texas, Weirdness

Penis