Woman #1: So, you think he is?
Woman #2: No, you don't really think he is?
Woman #3: Hell, yes! I know he is. He is cheating on his wife and me. I'm gonna cut off his dick and then quit! That'll teach him.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/08/hide-your-pet-rabbits-gentlemen.html
Overheard by: Jon
Boy standing in line for smoothie: That better not be sparkle lips gloss.
Girl standing with him, applying lip gloss: It is, but it has like too many sparkles.
Boy: That's even worse! (pause) My one friend woke up with a ring of sparkles around his… well, you know…
University Fair
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: ashley
Law professor, lecturing on sexual abuse: I've had more men shake their weenies at me than I care to count.
Humboldt State University
Arcata, California
Broseph to broski: Shaving your ass is a sign of homosexuality, shaving your testicles is a sign of being a porn star.
Chicago, Illinois
Effeminate boy #1: And he said “my penis is so big I can't control it.”
Effeminate boy #2: Oh, god. Really?
Effeminate boy #1: Yes, his mother uses really scientific terminology.
Effeminate boy #2: Oh. Oh, I see.
Effeminate boy #1: Mhmm. Well, he's only four, too. He's already peed on himself because as he says “it's not long enough go down.” I just call it a pee-pee. That's where the word “pee” comes from. Mmhmm.
Effeminate boy #2: Really! Huh!
Friendship Heights
Washington, DC
Overheard by: aimc
Young mother to four-year-old boy: C'mon, sweetie, let's wash your hands.
Sarcastic father: Yeah, dude, you're disgusting.
Boy (increasingly louder): Yes. I am disgusting. You know what else is disgusting? My penis!
IHOP
Hammond, Louisiana
Overheard by: The Only Small Press in Bumfuck
Wife of fat guy: Y’know, honey, I heard on Oprah that every 35 pounds you lose, you gain an inch in penis length.
Fat guy: I know I could stand to lose 70 pounds, but what am I gonna do with a 22-inch dick?
http://community.livejournal.com/overheardincali/
Teen girl #1: I wish a jellyfish would sting me so some handsome guy would run along the beach, whip out his dick and pee on me.
Teen girl #2: What?
Teen girl #1: To neutralize the sting, dumbass.
Teen girl #2: I know that. But still: what?
Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia
