Pennsylvania

6th grade student: Miss Smith, I've decided that I'm gonna to end my reign of terror.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Well dressed woman on cell: No, no, no. That’s the problem, I can’t just shoot her because she is on my property. She has to be like breaking into the house or something… We’ll have to find another way.

Maket East Train Station
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Field hockey jockette: And then I said, “at least you didn't get gonorrhea!”

Ursinus College
Collegeville, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: reading in the lounge

Girl #1: Oh, whose car do you think it is? Maybe it's his!
Girl #2: Don't hit it!
Girl #1: Or maybe I should. Give us something to talk about. Hey, remember that time I totaled your car?

Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Girl: I am going to show you guys my toe, and you’re gonna be sorry!

Cresson, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: ZB

9-year-old boy, biking: Yo, what kind of flowers are they?
13-year-old brother, also biking: They be poppies an' calla-lilies an' peonies an' oleanders an' hydrangeas an' shit.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Phanatic

Professor: Now, if we did eliminate illness and achieved immortality there might be serious religious repercussions. Can anyone think of how this might affect religious beliefs?
Bimbette: Well, like, if Hitler were immortal, he would, like, go to jail for, like, a million years and then, like, chill out for eternity, you know?

Eternal Youth and Immortality Seminar
Lafayette College, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: knows that Hitler would still be dead because he SHOT himself

Black man, approaching black woman wrapped in garments with only her eyes visible: Salam Aleikum.
Woman: I'm not Muslim, muthafucka, I'm cold!

Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Michael

Artist at dealer’s table: … So basically I ended up doing an Ewok mistress for him.

Anthrocon
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Black woman, to friend: I love Costco. It makes me like, want to have five kids.

Costco
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania