Wangsta on cell: Dude, how the hell am I supposed to carry a 14-inch Mickey Mouse piñata?
(short pause) Well, I guess I could just stuff it in my messenger bag.
University
San Francisco, California
Wangsta on cell: Dude, how the hell am I supposed to carry a 14-inch Mickey Mouse piñata?
(short pause) Well, I guess I could just stuff it in my messenger bag.
University
San Francisco, California
Hipster guy: Are you going to bed?
Hipster girl: No. I just don't know man. I feel like my head is full of Saran wrap.
Virginia Tech
Blacksburg, Virginia
Businessman: I know! Because what was I supposed to kill him with—my driver? Can you even use a golf club for that sort of thing?
Arlington, Virginia
Woman, looking at exhibit containing jellyfish: But where are their brains? Where do you think their brains are? Where would they keep their brains? Where are the brains? Where are their brains? The brains? Where do you think they keep the brains? Huh… I wonder where their brains are?
Aquarium
North Carolina
Overheard by: Kellllyyyyy
Guy: So who are you meeting here? Some friends?
Girl, sighing: I wouldn't necessarily call them my friends, they're just people I eat with.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Wait, what?
Mom to toddler girl: What fish should we get today? Salmon or tilapia or flounder?
Toddler girl: Is that “flounder” like in Little Mermaid?
Mom: Well, it's a fish, like flounder was.
Toddler girl: I want to eat flounder! Let's cook him. Mommy, can we eat Nemo too?
Costco
Fairfax, Virginia
Hip-hop thug on train bursts out, to no one in particular: Fuck you, man!
(spits on floor) You don't like it, do somethin' 'bout it. (pause) You want my dick? You want to be on my dick?
(silence).
Chica sitting opposite: Who are you talking to?
(hip-hop thug mumbles)
Chica: I don't think anyone wants to be on your dick.
Boston, Massachusetts
Sweet old man: How are ya, girls?
Teen girls: Better if we had some whiskey.
Gold Coast Big Day Out
Australia
Overheard by: yo bitch
Girl: Oh… Unh… Yeah, that's the spot.
Friend: Doesn't it hurt when you rub it so hard like that?
Girl: No, it… oh, that's blood. That's probably not good.
Clark Hall Women's Room
University of Virginia
Overheard by: girl in the stall
Skinny chick with cigarette on bike to friend she just met up with: Hey! Guess how I got here so fast?
Friend: How?
Skinny chick, enthusiastically: I drink a tonic of strychnine and brandy! Every day!
Mt. Pleasant
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Lance Wriststrong
