Sorority chick, from across room: Hey, do you wanna go steady?
Frat guy: Sure, when?
Sorority chick: I dunno… Let me ask my boyfriend and get back to you.
Frat guy: Sweet. Just as long as I get to tap that.
Iowa
Overheard by: confused and disgusted
Sorority chick, from across room: Hey, do you wanna go steady?
Frat guy: Sure, when?
Sorority chick: I dunno… Let me ask my boyfriend and get back to you.
Frat guy: Sweet. Just as long as I get to tap that.
Iowa
Overheard by: confused and disgusted
Dude to friend: … And then she asked me, ‘Where do you think this relationship is going?’ Fuck! She calls me when she’s drunk, and I leave the door unlocked for her… This situation is working out well for me — that’s where this relationship is going.
Museum of Flight
Seattle, Washington
Girl to friend: And then this guy, I can't remember his name, he was like “hey, you want some cake?” But I've read his blog and he believes in creationism, so I was like “no, thanks.”
Christchurch
New Zealand
20-something guy: It's a good thing it didn't work out. She was poor.
Rock Climbing Gym
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: tangotravellers
Really stoned girl: Oh god, my first relationship was horrible. It was just six weeks of me being scared of his genitals.
Canberra
Australia
Overheard by: Boffins
Guy, singing: He'll only be your friend if he touches your breast…
Girl: What?!
Guy, not singing anymore: It's like my favorite song.
Metro State
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Squid
Dumb brunette #1: Well, he likes Sarah and Matt…
Dumb brunette #2: They don't count, everyone likes them!
Dumb brunette #1: Well, my boyfriend doesn't like any of my friends, then. I don't really like any of my friends.
Smart, older blonde walking by: Well, dear, there's a simple solution to that.
Dumb brunette #1: Oh? What is it?
University Library, Kent State
Kent, Ohio
Stewardess: Wave hi to my ex-husband and his new wife as they pass by.
Southwest Airlines Flight
Houston to New Orleans
Overheard by: Passenger A 44
Preteen girl #1, trying on cowboy hat: If I was a cowboy, would you be my friend?
Preteen girl #2: No.
Newburyport, Massachusetts
Girl: But I showered for you this morning!
Boyfriend: So you don't want to go?
Girl: I didn't say that, but you made me get cleaned up this morning, and now I'm just going to get dirty. You better pay my water bill, for all these showers you make me take.
Quiznos
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Believes in no-strings-attached hygene
