Restaurants

Really tall hippie to really short girl in overalls: If that's what you think, then why can't I rape dead people?

El Campesino
Altoona, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Louise H

Middle aged woman to another: It’s not the hot flashes that are so bad… It’s the depression.

BeauJo’s
Ft. Collins, Colorado

Overheard by: always listening

Girl #1: I could never be a vegetarian.
Girl #2: Ugh, me neither, I love meat way too much.
Girl #1: I know. Especially when it's been caged and slapped around.
Girl #2: Totally.

Starbucks

College girl, yelling at friend: I mean, I hooked up with everyone in Sigma Nu before I was dating him! Why wouldn't I keep hooking up with everyone in Sigma Nu now?

Starbucks
Los Angeles, California

Brunette: Was it you that was telling me you told prince charming that you were a whore?
Redhead: You mean Mark*, the rich guy? No, I just told him not to fall in love with me because I was a faithless whore and there was no man on earth worthy of my loyalty. You give a man loyalty and they walk all over you. Besides, I wouldn't describe him as prince charming. More like a toad with money.
Brunette: So you did tell him you were a whore?

Greek Restaurant
Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Girl: What about her? She’s cute.
Guy: Yeah… but her boobs are small.
Girl: What’s wrong with small boobs anyway?
Guy: They’re… not… big.

Restaurant, Oregon

Gay #1: One guy likes to have his junk stepped on, but no punches in them.
Gay #2: Ow!
Gay #1: I don't like balls in my toes, though.
Gay #2: Just think of it as sand on a beach!

Starbucks
Somerville, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Scott

Mother to young son: What did you learn in church today?
Son: I told you.
Mother: What was it again?
Son: That when you play tic-tac-toe it's best to pick the middle square.

Costco
Boise, Idaho

Chick #1: She doesn’t even *want* to get married!
Chick #2: And she’s not a ho?

Starbucks, Pacific Center
Daly City, California

Overheard by: Ladle

Guido: Dude, I think your girlfriend is going to dump you. You fell off your chair inside and you punched me in the ribs twice when I got up to go to the bathroom.
Drunk Guido: No, she can’t dump me. She lets me put it in her ass!

Outside Restuarant
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Lauren