Professor to another: I saw you walk in with your purse, messenger bag, and backpack. You've been having sex again?
USC School of Social Work
California
Professor to another: I saw you walk in with your purse, messenger bag, and backpack. You've been having sex again?
USC School of Social Work
California
Guy in wife beater on phone: She said my dick was just too long.
Casino
Las Vegas, Nevada
First grade teacher to colleague, in front of first graders: And so I walked into the living room and he was there, naked, standing on the coffee table.
Portland, Maine
Girl: So if you won £100,000,000 on the lottery what would you do?
Guy: Settle some scores. There'd be a few guys from school who'd be going to work one day and suddenly find themselves being bundled into the back of a van with a black bag over their head.
Girl: Then flown out over the north Atlantic, tied up, thrown out of the plane?
Guy: I like the way you think. We should have kids.
Girl: Nah, to get into my pants you'll need to do better than that. £2,000 of jewelery would do it. (cackles hysterically)
London
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Girl: Oh, hold on, I have to ejaculate my disk.
Montreal
Quebec
Canadia
Teenage boy: She said his bazooka was too big for her funhole.
High School
North Carolina
Overheard by: aWkWaRd
13-year-old blonde: So then he was all “I told you it wasn't mine!”
13-year-old brunette: Ohmigod, how could he do that?
13-year-old blonde: I know! It was, like, “did you or didn't you sleep with him?” He's not even gay!
Canadia
Overheard by: Laura
20-something girl on cell: But yeah, I'm a girl so I don't get a boner.
Kansas
Psychology professor: What will your Prada bag get you? It doesn’t get you sex. All the men aren’t going to be like, ‘Oooh, Prada bag!’
Northwestern University
Evanston, Illinois
Physics professor demonstrating electrical charges: I have my magic wand and my magic fur. Now, I’m going to rub my magic wand with my magic fur!
Allegheny College
Meadville, Pennsylvania
