Sex

Girl #1: Girl, I am pregnant.
Girl #2: Do you know who the daddy is?
Girl #1: No!
Girl #2: Girl, my doctor told me that when I sleep with a man, to write it on the calendar, so if I get pregnant they can try to find the daddy!

Elevator, Columbus State Community College
Columbus, Ohio

Chick, approaching yuppie guy: Hey I haven't seen you since…
Yuppie guy: Since I nailed you in the high school bathroom! Four… five years ago, right Jen?
Chick: No, that wasn't me. But thanks for remembering my name!

Bar
Nebraska

Overheard by: allie

Guy #1: Dude, have you seen this picture?
Guy #2: Nah, dude. Show it to me.
(guy #1 shows guy #2 picture of naked girl in a scenic background)
Guy #2: Dude, do you think it's gay that I think the scenery is the prettiest thing in this picture?
Guy #3, walking by: No, you just want to fuck the planet.

Carmel, Indiana

Conservative Jewish girl: I think that the draft should be required, like in Israel. That way, every guy would have a great body, and I could let loose and get me a hot one more easily.

UC Santa Cruz
California

Lady, looking bewildered at companion: Well, where would you be if you were a sex book?

Bookstore
Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: Knows exactly where he would be

Supportive male friend: It's okay! Just remember, you fucked her sister with a baseball bat.
Cute girl: I know, I know…

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Flight attendant, describing Australia's quarantine practices: And if you do not declare any foodstuff and you get caught you may face on-the-spot fines, or prostitution.

Flight to Sydney, Australia

Overheard by: Erik

Psych professor: Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a sexual encounter.

Purdue University
West Lafayette, Indiana

Chick: I chased him into the boys bathroom, and now I'm all wet!

Millsaps College
Jackson, Mississippi

Girl #1: I haven't kissed him in over a week because he has mono. But a couple days ago we went out to Subway, and then to my house to eat it and watch a movie. Well, he went home and I saw what I thought was my Subway cup, so I took a big swig out of it.
Girl #2: Oh, no!
Girl #1: Yeah, and I said “screw it!” and I just decided to make out with him, since I missed it so much. But I've been feeling a little crappy lately.
Girl #2: (stares)
Girl #1, thoughtfully: I hope I'm not getting sick. (pause) Oh, this shirt is cute!

UCCS
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Overheard by: Dazeys