College girl: I'm so ready for my first homoerotic experience!
New Paltz, New York
Drunk guy walking past mirror: Man, sometimes I see myself, and I make myself horny.
Hanover College
Hanover, Indiana
Overheard by: Whitney
Man in stall on cell: Hey! It's me, do you want to talk dirty? (pause) Oh, okay. I'll let you watch your show.
Coral Springs, Florida
Woman to friend: I just want a sibling. I don't care if they're into sex.
Marrickville
Australia
Overheard by: Jaclyn
Woman #1: Oh my god, Jason Statham is so hot! I want to funk him so bad!
Woman #2: I know! When you're done, I'm next!
Hubby of woman #1: And when they're done, I want to smell his cock.
Islip, New York
Overheard by: Who is Jason Statham?
Bathroom chick #1: So he had three piercings up there and two down there…
Bathroom chick #2: He said he had one that would get her off on her clit if they did it doggie style.
Bathroom chick #1: But what if her clit was pierced too? And his piercings on her clit?
Chilkoot Charlies
Anchorage, Alaska
Chick: I was in your area during lunch and thought about asking you to meet me for a quickie.
Dude: What the fuck? And you didn't, because…?
Chick: I had to drive some coworkers back to the city. Wasn't sure what to do with them while we copulated.
Dude: Do what my parents did, sit them down in front of the tv, turn on Sesame Street and turn it up!
Conshohocken, Pennsylvania
Sex and Violence professor, at the end of the semester: You are sexy, you are violent. It's been an honor.
Pomona College
Claremont, California
Overheard by: Mell
Faculty master: You know, our building won the sportsmanship award this year. It wasn't thanks to me, though. Some kid kicked a ball out of bounds, and I yelled “you play soccer like a freshman that's never had sex!”
Faculty Master Dinner
USC, California
