Psych professor: Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a sexual encounter.
Purdue University
West Lafayette, Indiana
Psych professor: Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a sexual encounter.
Purdue University
West Lafayette, Indiana
Chick: I chased him into the boys bathroom, and now I'm all wet!
Millsaps College
Jackson, Mississippi
Girl #1: I haven't kissed him in over a week because he has mono. But a couple days ago we went out to Subway, and then to my house to eat it and watch a movie. Well, he went home and I saw what I thought was my Subway cup, so I took a big swig out of it.
Girl #2: Oh, no!
Girl #1: Yeah, and I said “screw it!” and I just decided to make out with him, since I missed it so much. But I've been feeling a little crappy lately.
Girl #2: (stares)
Girl #1, thoughtfully: I hope I'm not getting sick. (pause) Oh, this shirt is cute!
UCCS
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: Dazeys
Barmaid: I was having sex with a girl, and in the heat of the moment she called me Frank. Which is horrifying, as that's her dad's name.
Pub
Surrey
England
Young man to friends: So apparently people get all offended if you walk into the farmers market with a bottle of KY jelly.
Iowa City, Iowa
Sober sorostitute with heavy smoker's voice: Like o-m-g, I just decided on my Halloween costume!
Drunk sorostitute, stamping feet: Oh my god! What?! What what what?
Sober sorostitute: Wait for it…wait for it… Little ho peep!
Drunk sorostitute: Can we have sex with the little ho sheep?
Duke University
Durham, North Carolina
Overheard by: Disgusted
Employee #1: Yeah, you know the stripper's bad when a married man says, “uh, no thanks, I'm married.”
Employee #2, laughing: Man, that's bad.
Zoning Department, City Hall
Chicago, Illinois
Guy on phone: I didn't, like…have eye-sex with him. (pause) I didn't fuck him in the eye!
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Mike Dunn
Teacher, setting up overhead: Okay, I'm going to turn off the lights. Keep your hands to yourself.
High School
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Always got groped during her tests
High school kid to another, on bus: I'm all sensitive and shit, that's why I get all the bitches.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Bus Boy
