Woman: Sorry, I have to pay in singles.
Cashier: That's okay, people do all the time. (asking innocently) Are you a waitress?
Woman: No, honey. My career is a little less wholesome than that.
Cashier: (stutters and looks at her screen) Alright then, your total is $27.45.
Kroger
Cincinnati, Ohio
Guy: So all I have to do is get some gel and spike my butt hair.
Target
Salem, Massachusetts
Lady on cell pumping gas): Y'know, even when he picked up the knife, I just didn't expect the cops to get involved…
Shell Gas Station
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Just filling my tank, thanks
White trash man to white trash woman: So did you hear the news?
White trash woman: No, what?
White trash man (sighing despairingly): Aggie broke her corn-broom.
White trash woman, looking stricken: Oh, no!
Giant Tiger Store
Napanee, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Rockbot
Little boy in ladies' room stall : You know mom, in Europe all the bathrooms are unisex.
Mom: Probably why it's such a godless country.
JCPenney
Greensboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: diesel
Woman holding long sweater: Excuse me, do you work here?
Employee: Yes.
Woman: What is this? Is this a dress?
Employee: It's one of those… long… sweaters…
H&M, Water Tower Place
Chicago, Illinois
Lost mother with child to employee: Excuse me, sir? Where can I find the exit?
Employee (bluntly): Um, you have to buy something before you can leave.
Lost mother with child: (blank stare)
Sam Ash
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Stole something instead
Old Russian woman: You very strong girl!
Cashier: Thanks.
Old Russian woman: You will birth very easy!
Cashier: Than… wait, what?!
Hannaford
Yarmouth, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
Cashier on cell phone: I mean… What’s the problem? Ejaculating? Is he ejaculating too much or too little? Which is the problem?
Shoprite
New Jersey
Overheard by: allison
