Your Editors Are on Irony Overload

Wangsta on cell: Dude, how the hell am I supposed to carry a 14-inch Mickey Mouse piñata?
(short pause) Well, I guess I could just stuff it in my messenger bag.

University
San Francisco, California

Posted on September 18, 2009
Colleges & Universities, On the phone, Questions, San Francisco, Stupidity, Thugs, Toys

And They Love Drinking Out Of Coke Bottles

Mother to young son: The sign says that polar bears are carnivores. That means they eat mostly plants, but will eat meat when they can find it.

Henry Vilas Zoo
Madison, Wisconsin

Overheard by: weeping for the future

Posted on September 17, 2009
Animals, Diet & weight, Food, Kids, Moms, Stupidity, Wisconsin, Words

If You Don't Want to Go to Grandma's, Just Say So.

Mom: I'll shoot you, then you'll shoot me, and we won't have to go anywhere.
Daughter: Mom…?
Mom: What? I'm just saying. If we shot each other we couldn't go anywhere, anyways.

Dressing Room in Mall
Pennsylvania

Posted on September 9, 2009
Family, Girls, Malls, Moms, Murder, Parenting, Pennsylvania, Philosophy, Stupidity

The Girls Next Door Workout Video It Is, Then.

Teenage girl: We can't rent anything with class.

Blockbuster
Orlando, Florida

Posted on September 9, 2009
Florida, Movies, Stores, Stupidity, Teens

…Right Next to Our TA

Communications professor: There are no stupid questions. If you have a question, that means you don't understand something. If you don't ask the question you will be behind for the day, for the week, semester, and the rest of your life. You will find yourself sucking cheap wine out of a paper bag and sleeping on a grate.

Washington State University
Pullman, Washington

Posted on September 6, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Education, Jobs & Careers, Questions, Stupidity, Teachers, Washington

For Whom, Exactly?

High school teacher: So they employed guerrilla warfare.
Chick: Wait, seriously? They sent gorillas out into the jungle? Wouldn't that be dangerous?

Vienna, Virginia

Posted on September 5, 2009
Animals, Chicks, Idiots, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Stupidity, Teachers, Virginia, Words

With His Seductive Banjo Music?

Hispanic girlfriend: Why the hell do you get Cesar Chavez Day off of work? Do you even know who Cesar Chavez is?
White boyfriend: Didn't he drive the snakes out of Mexico?

Orange County, California

Overheard by: Hispanic girlfriend

Posted on September 4, 2009
Animals, California, Couples, History, Holidays, Latinas, Questions, Stupidity, Whiteys

How Genocide Begins

Girl to another: I've never been to Malta, but you know who I think must be really weird? People from Malta.

Prague
Czech Republic

Posted on September 4, 2009
Europe, Geography, Girls, Questions, Stupidity, Weirdness

Well Why'd You Enroll in an Art History Class?

Dumb Girl #1: I feel like I'm suffocating!
Dumb girl #2: Why? What's wrong?
Dumb girl #1: It's just too much! There's vagina everywhere!

High School
Genoa, Ohio

Overheard by: Tricia Rae

Posted on September 1, 2009
Girls, Health & Hygiene, Idiots, Ohio, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Stupidity, Vagina

Parenting, Encapsulated.

Little boy: Mommy, come here! I have a present for you!
(mom comes over, little boy proceeds to dump a bucket of water over her head).
Little boy: Did you like it?
Mom: No.
(little boy dumps another bucket of water on her head)

Neighborhood Pool
New Jersey

Overheard by: CMac

Posted on September 1, 2009
Gifts, Kids, Moms, New Jersey, Parenting, Should have used a condom, Stupidity

Stupidity