From Daisy's Adventures in Mathmagic Land

Professor: There are only going to be 28 questions on this test.
Blonde girl: So, how many points is each question going to be worth?
Professor: Each question will be worth one point.
Blonde girl: Out of how many?

Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama

Posted on November 7, 2008
Alabama, Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Idiots, Questions, Stupidity, Teachers

Then I'm Afraid There'll Be No Way Around Our Necromany Fee

Woman in cell phone store: I want to change the billing name on this account.
Employee: I'm sorry, we can't allow you to make changes on this account. You're not the primary account-holder.
Woman: Right. The primary account holder died.
Employee: I'm sorry, only the primary account-holder can make changes to the account.
Woman: He's dead!

Verizon Store
Grand Rapids, Michigan

Posted on November 1, 2008
Customers, Death & dying, Default, Employees, Michigan, Names, Offers and requests, On the phone, Stores, Stupidity, Wishes, Women

Men Are More Like Women Than We Like to Think

American bimbo, standing in front of an Italian painting of a martyr bleeding from his leg: Uhh, why is he, like, bleeding from his penis?

The Louvre
Paris
France

Overheard by: American art student

Posted on October 31, 2008
Bimbettes, Default, France, Penis, Questions, Stupidity

It's Supposed to Go in?

Teen girl #1: What do you use vaseline for in sex, anyway?
Teen girl #2: So he can slide it in, you stupid fuck!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: LOL

Posted on October 30, 2008
Default, Girls, Illinois, Questions, Sex, Stupidity, Teens

A Woman With a Full Bladder Stops Believing in Multitasking

(in the ladies' restroom, after seeing camera flash from inside a stall)
Angry blonde in line: Oh, come on! There's a whole line of people out here who have to pee, and you twits are in there taking fucking pictures for your damn MySpace pages.
Two girls in one stall: We're just peeing.
Angry blonde, to no one in particular: Who the hell takes pictures of themselves on the damn toilet anyway? I can just see the caption on that one… “Night at Zen, usin' the potty.” Jeez!
(the two girls come out of the stall, obviously offended…in full 80s garb).
Angry blonde: Bwaaahhhaaaaa hhhaaaa hhhaaaa, (deadpan) Fucking losers!

Zen Night Club
Addison, Texas

Overheard by: If she hadn't said it, I would have

Posted on October 30, 2008
Bars & Clubs, Default, Girls, Insults, Pee, Questions, Stupidity, Texas, Women

Brenda's Expecting a Wee One

Girl sitting at desk: I've got to pee. I've got to pee. Urine needs to come out of my uterus.

Dayton, Ohio

Overheard by: LC

Posted on October 20, 2008
Body parts, Default, Girls, Ohio, Pee, Stupidity

Do You Suppose This White Porcelain Fixture Could Be Used for Urination?

Bimbette in bathroom stall: So what are these hooks for?
Friend: To like, hang your coat or bag or whatever.
Bimbette: Oh my god! I am so stupid! I've been putting my coat on the floor! How long have you known about this? (runs out of stall, yells to random girl) Did you know about the hooks?! (girl nods) I am so stupid!

Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: chloe

Posted on October 18, 2008
Bimbettes, Canadia, Default, Friends, Questions, Stupidity

Eli Whitney: I Swear, Sir, That Was Never My Intention!

Drunk college girl: She doesn't use tampons because she doesn't want anything up there except her husband's dick? So, if she used tampons she'd be like, “Oh, I'm sorry honey, I lost my virginity to a cotton stick?” What a retard!

Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Megan