Oh, You're Just Still Pissed That I Stole Your Lucky Charms.

Bearded elderly Irish tramp: Fuck you! Fuck you, you hellspawn of Satan! You diseased monkey fucking dog wanking shitcunt!
Man, passing by: Pardon?
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: You heard me, you twat! You cocksucking pedophile wanker! (turning to passing woman) Excuse me my dear, I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but could you spare a pound?
Woman, passing by: Sorry, no.
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: God bless you! (turns back to passing man) Go fuck yourself, you cunt! I'll vomit on your fucking dog!

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Posted on September 22, 2010
Animals, England, Etiquette, Hobos, Insults, Panhandling, Strangers, Threats, Weirdness

Then You Wonder Why He Becomes an Interior Decorator

Mom: No! We do not throw balls at people! Do not ever let me catch you throwing a ball!

Toy Store
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: huh?

Posted on September 2, 2010
Moms, Parenting, Stores, Texas, Threats

Also How He Chooses a House Of Worship.

20-something guy, entering taqueria with friends: There better be a midget in a sombrero offering me salsa as soon as I get in the door, or I'm gonna be pissed.

San Francisco, Calfornia

Overheard by: Alex

Posted on August 1, 2010
Food, Friends, Guys, Restaurants, San Francisco, Stupidity, Threats, Weirdness

Nobody Expects a Gay Guy to Carry a Speculum

Gay guy: Give me a sip of your drink!
Girl: No!
Gay guy: Give me a sip or I'll bite your cervix!

Military College
Georgia

Overheard by: Amanda

Posted on June 23, 2010
Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Drinking & drunks, Georgia, Girls, Offers and requests, Queers, Threats, Violence

Now How About a Nice Tranq Dart?

Confused elderly female patient, trying to punch staff: If you kill me, my family will hunt you down and take all your money!
Nurse's aide, trying to clean up patient: Yeah, we hear that a lot.

Hospital
Burlingame, California

Posted on April 11, 2010
California, Crimes, Death & dying, Doctor's office, Family ties, Nurses, Old folks, Threats

Now Could You Delicately Put That Switchblade Away?

Scary emo girl, pointing at friend: What am I? Say it! Say it! What am I? Say it!
Bullied emo guy, quietly: You're a delicate emo angel.

Federal Hill
Providence, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Katie M

Posted on April 10, 2010
Compliments, Girls, Guys, Questions, Rhode Island, Threats

…Oh Shoot, I Ruined the Surprise.

Young lady with English accent, on cell: I told you I was going to be home in 15 minutes. (pause) I'm going to kill you. I'm going to stab you in the eye with a fork.

Chico, California

Overheard by: xfleshxwoundx