Violence

Teenage girl with bad haircut: Ugh, I so just want to punch Lauren* in the face… She's lucky I'm not a bitch.
Overweight teenage boy: I know!
Teenage girl with bad haircut: I mean, seriously, all the time from here it's all “blah blah blah, I got raped.” So annoying!
Overweight teenage boy: I know!
Teenage girl with bad haircut: I'd understand if it was once in a while… but dude, she talks about it all the time!

Edmonton
Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: Lisa

Guy: If I bought a handgun I would name it “Lady Boner.”

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Social worker talking to hobo: What can I get for you, sir?
Hobo: How about a 9 mm semi-automatic gun?
Social worker: Well, I can't do that, but do you need bus tickets? Where are you going?
Hobo: Hell.
Social worker: Okay, I'll get those bus tickets then.
Hobo: Your hair's much nicer than mine.

Hospital
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: yooo

Woman to husband: Can you run me over on Saturday?

Train
Sydney
Australia

British individual rights professor: States can't go around cutting people's bollocks off because they've been naughty.

Law Class
St. Louis, Missouri

Crazy lady yelling at bus stop sign: I wish someone would rape me in an inappropriate way!

Chicago, Illinois

Student, about the economy: Well, what if I just took my big stick and made them give me their resources?
Professor: Well, let's just imagine that your stick isn't big enough to extract the resources you want. (chuckles) Sometimes there's no pleasure in the big stick. Okay, I'm gonna stop talking about sticks now.

Classroom
UC Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Kelly

Guy: Oh my god, she hates me!
Girl: What? Why?
Guy: Cause I'm the kid who threw a sandwich at her!

Tacoma, Washington

Statistics teacher: There is a correlation between cats and happiness. Cats make people happy. But not all cats. I still have nightmares about some cats. When I was a little girl, there was this cat, Greta, who lived outdoors. I wanted to pet her, but she scratched up my whole arm and got her claws into my protoplasm!

Atlanta, Georgia

Greenpeace guy: It's never good to idolize someone who died hanging himself and jerking off.

Oregon State University

Overheard by: David