That, or a Phone.

Teacher: Who knows what the word “cell” means?
4th-grader: Oh, I do, I do! It's a tiny thing like a jelly doughnut! Except instead of jelly, there's blood!

Elementary School
Washington, DC

Posted on December 8, 2018
Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Science, Students, Teachers, Washington, DC, Words

Father Martin, Why Is This Pew Wet and Sticky?

Girl: I should probably go to church tomorrow. It would make my mom happy… And the priest is really fucking hot.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/

Overheard by:

Posted on December 6, 2018
Compliments, Default, Eavesdrop DC, Family ties, Girls, Religion, Washington, DC

All I Have to Do Is Stand in a Phone Booth and Take Off My Glasses

Suit #1: You gotta stop traveling and eating out like this. You’re starting to pack it on.
Suit #2, slapping his stomach: Nah, after seven p.m. all this turns to dick.

Steakhouse
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Poor Bastard

Posted on October 29, 2018
Advice, Bragging, Suits, Washington, DC

When I Think About Seeing You, I Touch My Eyes

Lady standing in bathroom, giving advice: Hey, you can get STDs from public bathrooms! Don't touch your eyes!

Washington, DC

Overheard by: pretty sure that's not how you get STDs

Posted on October 1, 2018
Body parts, Crazies, Health & Hygiene, STDs, Washington, DC

Evidence That Sex and the City Would've Been a Lot More Interesting If It Had Involved Plus-Sized Sistahs

Plus-size sistah: And that damn condom came off!
Friend: Oh, shit, girl! What happened?
Plus-size sistah: I dunno. It's still up in there.
Friend: What? How long?
Plus-size sistah: It's been three days. I can't reach that bitch!
Friend: Girl! That's nasty! And if you askin' what I think you askin', you can forget it!

Restaurant, Chinatown
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Joe

Posted on September 21, 2018
Biotechs, Condoms, Fat people, Friends, Questions, Restaurants, Vagina, Washington, DC, Weirdness

And Neither Could God

College student: So first my girlfriend and I split, then I got accepted into the frat, and then I found god…I couldn't handle spring break after that weekend.

Georgetown University
Washington, DC

Posted on June 20, 2018
Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, God, Relationships, Students, Washington, DC

…How Were Your Midterms?

20-year-old guy to his friend: So then I finally find my laptop in the dumpster, covered in semen, so that's how that went.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Vanessa Duguay

Posted on April 19, 2018
Cum, Friends, Guys, Laptops, Washington, DC, Weirdness

Are These Not the Hottest Slippers Ever?

Girl: I’m like Mister Rogers — I change my style twice a day.

Farragut North Metro
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/02/hi-neighbor.html

Posted on February 27, 2018
Chicks, Eavesdrop DC, Fashion, Washington, DC

But I Always Get It Confused with “Elimidate”

Cashier #1: He's definitely overcompensating for something.
Cashier #2: I do not know what that word means.
Cashier #3: “Compensate?” You don't know what that means?
Cashier #2: “Compensate?” Penetrate–I know what *that* is.

Filene's Basement
Washington, DC

Posted on February 27, 2018
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Employees, Questions, Sexuality, Washington, DC, Words

Say Something to Me in C++

Guy trying to impress girl: So then I mastered a few languages, and after that it was pretty easy to get hired.
Girl: Oh wow! What languages?
Guy: C++.

Yellow Line Train
Washington, DC

Posted on February 11, 2018
Bragging, Default, Dorks, Geeks & Nerds, Girls, Guys, Relationships, Stupidity, Technology, Train, Washington, DC