…According to This Snapple Cap.

Teacher to class: You never know what you're going to find stuffed in the head of a mummified crocodile.

Metro State College
Denver, Colorado

Why I Refuse to Visit Texas: Explained.

Drunk girl: We were around the bonfire eating flamin' hot Cheetos, and then his brother ran around with the gas can, naked.

Trailer Park
Central Texas

Overheard by: HaleyJ

Teen girl: But let's face it: if you walk in to a porn shop handcuffed, people are going to assume that you had something to do with it.

Eugene, Oregon

Overheard by: nyssa

Old lady: Are you able to check the weather in Toronto?
Young guy: No, the internet can't reach that far.
Old lady: Oh.

Windsor
Ontario
Canadia

Girl: There will be a beautiful rainbow of racial harmony coming out of my vagina.

Aurora, Colorado

Goth girl: So, basically, I broke the law in four countries…

Dundee
Scotland

Overheard by: goldfishgirl

Young guy on cell: Man, I don't know nobody by they real names, yo.

Framingham, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Shifty

Man on cell in grocery store: As long as you don't call me “flipper,” that's okay.

Gresham, Oregon

Teacher to girl picking lint off her boobs: Pay attention, please.
Girl: I can't! I'm cleaning!

Potomac, Maryland

20-something nasty-looking girl in pub, scratching furiously down trousers: Jesus, my clunge itches!

Leamington Spa
England