Weirdness

High school girl on phone: Wait… How do I rape you?

Denver, Colorado

Girl on cell: They had Greenland and Iceland on the test. (pause) Yeah, apparently they're two different things. (pause) I dunno, Greenland is the cold one, or something. (pause) Yeah, I think it was unfair, too.

Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Ginger

Man on cell, laughing: You don't need a chair! Your ass is so big you can sit on the ground! (pause, then enamored) Aw, I love that laugh. You know I wanna marry that laugh. (defensive) Why do you do that? You always do that when I try to share my feelings with you!

Beaverton, Oregon

Overheard by: facepalm

Blue collar guy on lunch break: Does she use a strap-on or does she have something that pops out like a turtle head?

Northwestern Law School
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: What a Horrible Visual

Bearded elderly Irish tramp: Fuck you! Fuck you, you hellspawn of Satan! You diseased monkey fucking dog wanking shitcunt!
Man, passing by: Pardon?
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: You heard me, you twat! You cocksucking pedophile wanker! (turning to passing woman) Excuse me my dear, I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but could you spare a pound?
Woman, passing by: Sorry, no.
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: God bless you! (turns back to passing man) Go fuck yourself, you cunt! I'll vomit on your fucking dog!

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Little Tommy Lee Had Quite the Ego.

Seven-year-old in underwear in dressing room, doing pelvis thrusts: Look at my horse! My horse is amazing!

Target
Ithaca, New York

Lady on cell: No, no, no! See, the reason I bring this up is because her spaceship is covered in shag carpeting…

Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: Caleb

Female professor: She was a lesbian…
Male student: Yeah, she was.
Female professor: But he turned her straight with his manliness…
Male student: Yeah, he did.

Appalachian State University
Boone, North Carolina

Teacher to class: You never know what you're going to find stuffed in the head of a mummified crocodile.

Metro State College
Denver, Colorado

Drunk girl: We were around the bonfire eating flamin' hot Cheetos, and then his brother ran around with the gas can, naked.

Trailer Park
Central Texas

Overheard by: HaleyJ