Waiter #1: We need to get this shit done and get out of here.
Waiter #2: Yep. I need to get to the bar. Molly's not gonna fuck herself tonight.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Girl #1: With the right emphasis, anything can sound dirty.
Girl #2: I'll jump on your trampoline.
Girl #1: I'll park in your car park.
Girl #2: I'll reverse up your back alley.
(pause)
Girl #2: I think it just got too literal.
Girl #1: Me too.
Sydney
Australia
Guy in “I heart NJ” shirt: Could you take our picture?
German tourist: Sure.
Guy in “I heart NJ” shirt: Thanks a lot, man.
German tourist: You luv New Jer-see?
Guy in “I heart NJ” shirt: Hell yeah!
German tourist: You za own-lee vun!
London
England
Overheard by: Joyful One
Six-year-old girl at the zoo: (drops French fries one by one)
Dad: Why are you dropping French fries?
Six-year-old girl: To feed them!
Dad: No one wants your old French fries.
Six-year-old girl: You're an old French fry!
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/06/sticks-and-stones.html
Overheard by: Dave
Woman to friend: Well, yeah, but then it got wet, so it fell off…
Vallejo, California
Overheard by: Jerod T.
Teen girl: My brother got released from the loony bin today. Same day as he got a new roommate, who kills animals and has an extra Y chromosome. I'm like, “Goddamn!”
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
Fireman: And then he asked me if I'd ever covered my hand with a plastic bread bag, and then squished my shit around in the toilet… just to see what it feels like.
Maine
Female law student, after declining jello shot: No, I have to drive you home.
Male law student: I don't want a cranky sober person driving me home!
St. Petersburg, Florida
Girl at party: These people are so disgusting! One guy actually called dibs on me.
Guy, loudly: Yeah, these people are douchebags.
Girl: Shhhh! They'll hear you!
Guy: So what?
Girl: Then they'll think I'm the one that brought all the weird people to the party.
Guy: You did.
Girl: But I don't want them to know that!
Random party guy: Yeah, dude, stop. You're embarrassing her in front of all the people she hates.
Columbus, Ohio
