Coach to middle school swim team: I don't care if there's lightning! Get in the pool and put on your flippers! The rubber will absorb the shock!
Swimming Pool
Louisiana
(elastic snapping sound)
Woman in stall: And that was the sound of my outside panties!
Bathroom, Dive Bar
Ohio
Overheard by: Monika
Cafeteria kid: Acting would be really boring if we were all giant slugs.
High School Cafeteria
Victoria, B.C.
Canadia
Overheard by: Sefie
Lecturer, about exam questions: I mislead you on purpose. I have to get some sense of perverse pleasure out of designing these questions. I sit at home going “aahahahahahaa!” (rubs hands gleefully)
Irish Culture Lecture
University of Zurich
Switzerland
Chick on cell: Hey! I had a miscarriage! Wanna hang out?
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Girl, giving tour: Here is my favorite, one of our the weight training rooms.
Guy on tour with Australian accent: Do you train here as well?
Girl: Yes, this is my event.
Guy: What? Weightlifting?
Girl: Yeah. I'm training for the snatch.
Guy: What?
Girl: It goes like this. (demonstrates weight lifting move)
Guy (not suppressing grin): And how much is your snatch?
Girl: I start with 83 pounds.
Guy (snickering): Reeeally…
Girl: Yep. Also the clean and jerk.
Guy: (leaves tour group, unable to suppress laughter)
US Olympic Training Center
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: TK
Man at bar: What do you girls do for a living?
Attractive women: We’re in sales, you?
Man: You’re in sales? I think you need a career change.
Women: I’m sorry, what do you do?
Man: I’m with the carnival.
Country Bar
Fort Worth, Texas
Teacher: So when you have sex with someone who isn’t a virgin, your spirit is having sex with the spirits of everyone that person had sex with.
Religion Classroom
El Paso, Texas
Lady, looking out the window at Mini Cooper: But it's no good for me–it doesn't have any backdoors for the grandkids!
Son-in-law: But that's great! Then they can't get out!
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Cassie Barlow
