Disgruntled dad-to-be: I wish I could sue the urologist, but it is what it is. So now I’m having a son. Whatever.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Glad he’s not my Dad
Older teenager: Go get me my Clif Bar!
Little girl, eating ice cream sandwich: I will, but I don't want my ice cream to melt.
Older teenager, very annoyed: Bring it with you. You know an ice cream sandwich is portable!
Starbucks
Manhattan, New York
Old man to teenage girl: Every time he saw an egg he had to eat it.
Melbourne
Australia
Mother, exiting trolley, to her son: Okay, come on, there’s people behind us.
Son: I want to say goodbye!
Mother: Oh, god.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Old lady: I'm not very hungry, I'm gonna have something small.
Old man: If you wanted something small, we would have stayed at home and I would have given you something small.
Lester's Diner
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Woman: Jorge, I wanna go to Kmart!
Man: Yeah, and I want chop suey. We all have our dreams, Maria.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Kate
Crew member to friends: Oh, the gay cooks are nothing. I mean, yeah, they can have their feminine touches, but if you want real weird, you need Angela.
Friend: Angela? She sounds nice!
Crew member: She's head of security. She's two meters tall, and you need to take a step back before you can identify her as a woman.
Friend: Surely she's not that ugly?
Crew member: Oh look, there she is.
Friend: Oh my god!
Gent Jazz festival
Belgium
Middle-aged woman, about teenager: She's so beautiful. She could be a model. (pause) I want to run her over with my car.
Bellingham, Washington
