Something Approximately the Size Of a Baby Carrot

Old lady: I'm not very hungry, I'm gonna have something small.
Old man: If you wanted something small, we would have stayed at home and I would have given you something small.

Lester's Diner
Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Posted on August 8, 2021
Florida, Food, Old folks, Penis, Restaurants, Sex, Wishes

West Side Story: The Lost Dialogue.

Woman: Jorge, I wanna go to Kmart!
Man: Yeah, and I want chop suey. We all have our dreams, Maria.

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Kate

Posted on July 15, 2021
California, Food, Guys, Latinos, Shopping, Stupidity, Wishes, Women

One Has to Love One's Own Nipples First, I Suppose

Young boy: I just wish this bus would come so I can stop thinking about my nipples.

Bus Stop
England

Posted on June 13, 2021
England, Nipples, Teens, Weirdness, Wishes

…That Woman Is Fi Fie Foe Fine!

Crew member to friends: Oh, the gay cooks are nothing. I mean, yeah, they can have their feminine touches, but if you want real weird, you need Angela.
Friend: Angela? She sounds nice!
Crew member: She's head of security. She's two meters tall, and you need to take a step back before you can identify her as a woman.
Friend: Surely she's not that ugly?
Crew member: Oh look, there she is.
Friend: Oh my god!

Gent Jazz festival
Belgium

Posted on June 6, 2021
Beauty, Belgium, Compare and contrast, Employees, Friends, Questions, Sexuality, Weirdness, Wishes

Yes, Yes and Yes

Professor: What do you think my fantasy is?
Student: Armpit sex… in a park. No, wait. Menage a trois. All-male in a… ballroom?

Godfrey, Illinois

Posted on May 19, 2021
Illinois, Kink, Questions, Sexuality, Students, Teachers, Wishes

I'd Totally Do That If It'd Make Me Young Again

Middle-aged woman, about teenager: She's so beautiful. She could be a model. (pause) I want to run her over with my car.

Bellingham, Washington

Posted on May 5, 2021
Beauty, Violence, Washington, Weirdness, Wishes, Women

So That's What the Propeller Beanie Is About

Rowdy child in shopping cart: Mom! What's that?
Tired mom: Spam.
Rowdy child: Mom! Can we get it? Can we get it, mom? Mom? Can we? Mom!
Tired mom: No.
(rowdy child starts freaking out)
Tired mom: Okay! Fine, but will you eat it?
Rowdy child: Nope…I just like attention.

Sobey's
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: aleXis

Posted on April 29, 2021
Canadia, Default, Feelings, Food, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Questions, Stores, Wishes

And Never Underestimate Their Surgical Dexterity

Pilot #1: He flew to Myrtle Beach to meet some girl he met online. We were expecting to find him naked in a bathtub full of ice missing a kidney.
Flight attendant: Who would want his kidney? He's so short!
Pilot #2: Hey, kids need kidneys too! Little kids!

Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on April 17, 2021
Flight attendants, Georgia, Health & Hygiene, Internet, Kids, Pilots, Weirdness, Wishes

Is This Any More Stupid Than the Political Interpretation? Discuss.

Teenage girl #1, explaining Shakespeare to friend: So, basically, Romeo is, like, a man whore. As soon as he knows some chick won't have sex with him he gets all pissy and emo and goes after someone else.
Teenage girl #2: So, like, he just wants to make babies? Man, I always thought it was more romantic!
Teenage girl #1: Nope. He just wants to hop into bed with whoever's available.

Birmingham, Alabama

Posted on April 9, 2021
Alabama, Books, Compare and contrast, Feelings, Girls, Sex, Stupidity, Teens, Wishes

Like, They Could Be Electronic or Something

Freshman, walking out of library: Geez, these books are heavy! They should make, like, lighter versions of books…

Melbourne University
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Eavesdropper…

Posted on March 19, 2021
Australia, Compare and contrast, Gripes, Sensory experiences, Students, Wishes

Wishes