Who Says Kids Today Have No Goals?

12-year-old boy #1: My hobo name is Rancid Earl!
12-year-old boy #2: My hobo name is Cracker Joe!
12-year-old boy #1: Hey, I wanna be Cracker Joe…

Middlesex County Fair
New Jersey

Posted on August 13, 2015
Names, New Jersey, Tweens, Wishes

…Mine Just Tells Me to Burn Things.

Mother to teenage daughter: Are you sure you don't want anything?
Skinny teenage daughter: Nah. (shrugs) My uterus isn't happy.
(mother raises a quizzical eyebrow)
Skinny teenage daughter: It's all like: “hello, I'm a uterus, and I'm going to bloat my way through for awhile, and push Ms Stomach organ out through Ms Bellybutton.”
Mother: Oh.

Burger King
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: i just work here…

Posted on August 12, 2015
Body parts, Happiness, Moms, New York, Restaurants, Skinny people, Teens, Uterus, Wishes

I Long to Feel the Pleasant Tingle of Arthritis

(at 4:30 pm)
College girl #1: Well, we could go get dinner now, but it's really early for that.
College guy: Well, it's not too early if you are old.
College girl #2: Yeah, they always start rolling into the restaurant about this time.
College girl #1: Really? I can't wait to be old!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/363289326/it-happens-earlier-than-you-think.html

Overheard by: I'm not in that big of a rush

Posted on August 12, 2015
Age and ageing, Default, Food, Frat boy types, Girls, Guys, Overheard in Minneapolis, Sorority types, Students, Time Management, Wishes

According to Sister Mary Bernice

Drunk girl: You only get pregnant if you want to.

Ohio

Posted on August 12, 2015
Default, Drunks, Girls, Ohio, Pregnancy, Wishes

Regardless, It Fills Us Up.

Girl: I've always wanted to try their maple bacon bar, but I either don't have enough cash, or I'm with someone and we usually either get the baker's dozen… or a penis.

Doughnut Store
Portland, Oregon

Posted on August 11, 2015
Food, Girls, Money, Oregon, Penis, Stores, Wishes

You're Supposed to Be Taking a Vacation from It

Canadian friend, after night out: I hope I wasn't being too annoying last night.
American friend: You weren't too bad. Until you started going on about the metric system.

French Quarter
New Orleans, Louisiana

Posted on August 10, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Friends, Louisiana, Weirdness, Wishes

And What If It Took Pictures?

Gay Australian cowboy: I just didn't want his cat seeing me naked.

Calgary
Canadia

Posted on August 9, 2015
Animals, Canadia, Clothes, Foreigners, Queers, Weirdness, Wishes

Says the Girl Who Was Caught Humping a Rhino?

Girl to two bald eagles: I will mate with you and you will like it. We will have hot eagahuman babies and you will like it!
Friend: Sarah, sometimes I swear you should have stayed in special ed longer.

Woodland Park Zoo
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: xhollisterluv1045

Posted on August 8, 2015
Animals, Birthing, Crazies, Education, Friends, Girls, Washington, Weirdness, Wishes

Wikipedia Always Leaves Out the Important Information

Guy: I just want to know how big his nipples are!

Revolution Cafe
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: crafty biotech

Posted on August 8, 2015
California, Default, Guys, Nipples, Questions, Restaurants, Weirdness, Wishes

What Are You Doing in Albuquerque, Then?

Security officer, pulling out fingernail clippers from carry-on: Sir, what are your intentions with these?
Man in line, deadpan: To take over the world.

Albuquerque, New Mexico

Overheard by: Zombie

Posted on August 6, 2015
Clients, Cops, New Mexico, Public transportation, Questions, Weirdness, Wishes

Wishes