Love Was Free, Drugs Were Plentiful…

Ecstatic woman: Take me back to the 60s–when I was skinny!

Herman's Hermits Concert
Alexandria, Virginia

Overheard by: serpent queen

Posted on August 2, 2015
Diet & weight, Virginia, Wishes, Women

A Damsel in Distress Can Count on a Guy Peeing on Her

Teen girl #1: I wish a jellyfish would sting me so some handsome guy would run along the beach, whip out his dick and pee on me.
Teen girl #2: What?
Teen girl #1: To neutralize the sting, dumbass.
Teen girl #2: I know that. But still: what?

Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia

Posted on August 1, 2015
Animals, Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Health & Hygiene, Insults, Kink, Pee, Penis, Questions, Teens, Weirdness, Wishes

Your Last Lecture Will Be Difficult to Top, Professor

Guy to others: There had better be another exploding chicken!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on July 31, 2015
Food, Guys, Illinois, Weirdness, Wishes

That's a Funny Name for a Ghost!

Crazy guy: Hey, June*! Do you know that my cabinets keep opening and closing by themselves?
June*: Well, do you believe in ghosts?
Crazy guy: Yes, I do!
June*: Maybe your place is haunted, and the ghosts just want to say hello.
Crazy guy, after thinking a while: No, I think it's just my schizophrenia.

Burlington, Vermont

Overheard by: Sweenan A. Mornstuy

Posted on July 30, 2015
Crazies, Girls, Guys, Mental illnesses, Sensory experiences, Vermont, Wishes

I'm Not Sure That's What's Meant by “Love God”

Teenage girl #1: Oh god, I want to fuck him so badly.
Teenage girl #2: Oh my god, you whore! You don't fuck him! You make sweet, sweet love to him.

Summit, New Jersey

Posted on July 26, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Insults, New Jersey, Sex, Teens, Wishes

…With a Little Plastic Bride and Groom Stuck Inside.

Young boy #1: I want a wedding cake snowball.
Young boy #2: What does a wedding cake snowball taste like?
Young boy #1: Like wedding cake.
Young boy #2: I've never been to a wedding.
Young boy #1: Then it just tastes like cake.

Snowball Stand
Louisiana

Posted on July 25, 2015
Compare and contrast, Food, Kids, Louisiana, Questions, Sensory experiences, Wishes

I Hope I Get a Piece with Hair!

Chick #1: Do you want some peanut M&Ms?
Chick #2: No, thanks.
Chick #1: They touched my crotch.
Chick #2: In that case, sure!

High School Bus
Englewood, Colorado

Overheard by: Julia

Posted on July 22, 2015
Bus, Candy, Chicks, Colorado, Offers and requests, Vagina, Weirdness, Wishes

Your Editors Are Still Giggling about “Beaverton”

Little boy holding a dog leash: OK, I’ll be the dog and you be the owner.
Little girl: OK!
Little boy: No, wait, you be the dog and I’ll be the owner.
Little girl: Don’t even *think* about it!

Beaverton, Oregon

Posted on July 22, 2015
Animals, Default, Friends, Kids, Offers and requests, Oregon, Sexuality, Wishes

He Left, While Singing, “Everybody Was Kung Pao Fighting…”

Guy on phone: Yo, g, I'm gonna go out to the club and get me some Pad Thai chicken. Hell yeah, you know what I'm talking about. K, peace.
Paralegal: What the fuck? Why Pad Thai? Why not Kung Pao?
Guy: Cause I don't want all that attitude up in my chicken. I want my chicken to sit down and shut the fuck up!
Paralegal: Get out of my office.

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on July 21, 2015
Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Food, Girls, Guys, Illinois, Offers and requests, On the phone, Questions, Wishes

Tonight's Movie: I Want to Live!

Chunky woman, while doing crunches, to friend: I went to the Bodies exhibit yesterday. For some reason, seeing all those weird, plasticized dead people made me want to work out.

Women's Gym
Studio City, California

Overheard by: urzzz

Posted on July 18, 2015
California, Death & dying, Default, Fat people, Feelings, Weirdness, Wishes, Women

Wishes