I Long to Feel the Pleasant Tingle of Arthritis

(at 4:30 pm)
College girl #1: Well, we could go get dinner now, but it's really early for that.
College guy: Well, it's not too early if you are old.
College girl #2: Yeah, they always start rolling into the restaurant about this time.
College girl #1: Really? I can't wait to be old!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/363289326/it-happens-earlier-than-you-think.html

Overheard by: I'm not in that big of a rush

Posted on August 12, 2015
Age and ageing, Default, Food, Frat boy types, Girls, Guys, Overheard in Minneapolis, Sorority types, Students, Time Management, Wishes

According to Sister Mary Bernice

Drunk girl: You only get pregnant if you want to.

Ohio

Posted on August 12, 2015
Default, Drunks, Girls, Ohio, Pregnancy, Wishes

Regardless, It Fills Us Up.

Girl: I've always wanted to try their maple bacon bar, but I either don't have enough cash, or I'm with someone and we usually either get the baker's dozen… or a penis.

Doughnut Store
Portland, Oregon

Posted on August 11, 2015
Food, Girls, Money, Oregon, Penis, Stores, Wishes

You're Supposed to Be Taking a Vacation from It

Canadian friend, after night out: I hope I wasn't being too annoying last night.
American friend: You weren't too bad. Until you started going on about the metric system.

French Quarter
New Orleans, Louisiana

Posted on August 10, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Friends, Louisiana, Weirdness, Wishes

And What If It Took Pictures?

Gay Australian cowboy: I just didn't want his cat seeing me naked.

Calgary
Canadia

Posted on August 9, 2015
Animals, Canadia, Clothes, Foreigners, Queers, Weirdness, Wishes

Says the Girl Who Was Caught Humping a Rhino?

Girl to two bald eagles: I will mate with you and you will like it. We will have hot eagahuman babies and you will like it!
Friend: Sarah, sometimes I swear you should have stayed in special ed longer.

Woodland Park Zoo
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: xhollisterluv1045

Posted on August 8, 2015
Animals, Birthing, Crazies, Education, Friends, Girls, Washington, Weirdness, Wishes

Wikipedia Always Leaves Out the Important Information

Guy: I just want to know how big his nipples are!

Revolution Cafe
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: crafty biotech

Posted on August 8, 2015
California, Default, Guys, Nipples, Questions, Restaurants, Weirdness, Wishes

What Are You Doing in Albuquerque, Then?

Security officer, pulling out fingernail clippers from carry-on: Sir, what are your intentions with these?
Man in line, deadpan: To take over the world.

Albuquerque, New Mexico

Overheard by: Zombie