Grey-haired grandma to another: Of course, it was worse for him because she left to become a lesbian. (pause) And you can't help thinking of all that licking.
Norfolk Island
Overheard by: kk
Grey-haired grandma to another: Of course, it was worse for him because she left to become a lesbian. (pause) And you can't help thinking of all that licking.
Norfolk Island
Overheard by: kk
Teenage girl: Mom, you have to buy me this book!
Mom: No, I don't, and I shan't.
Teenage girl: You what?
Mom: I shan't.
Teenage girl: “Shan't”?
Mom: Shan't.
Teenage girl: “Shan't”?
Mom: Shan't.
Teenage girl: “Shan't”?
Mom: Yes. Shan't.
Teenage girl: That's a word?
Mom: Yes.
Teenage girl: What's it mean?
Mom: It's a contraction of “shall not”, as in “I shan't buy you that book.”
Teenage girl: Ugh, fine! Enough shan'ting already!
Borders Bookstore
Olathe, Kansas
60-something female professor: Boys, you don't have this problem, but girls: always do your Kegels, especially after you have a baby.
Willamette University
Salem, Oregon
Woman to man carrying giant innertube: You have to return that to the tube hut. Ha! You have a tube hut in your pants!
Man: I don’t even know what that means.
Swimming Pool
Gardner, Kansas
Goofy man wearing “pimp” shirt and “I love boobies” bracelet: Yes! Our theater is closer to my bathroom. Ha ha, you lose!
Attractive brunette : You are the worst blind date ever!
Movie Theater
Monterey ,California
Overheard by: Arkham patient
Middle aged woman: I want him to think of me as the kind of friend who shakes your hand, not the friend you jump into bed with.
Northwestern University
Evanston, Illinois
Middle-aged woman to group of friends: I was possessed once, too.
Group, murmuring: Really? When? What happened?
Middle-aged woman: Oh yeah, when I was in hospital. And I know because I went like this: wluuuhhhhh!
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Jane
Elderly woman #1: And all her chinaware was Royal Worcester!
Elderly woman #2, looking shocked: No! Really? You wouldn't tell by looking at her, would you?
Elderly woman #1, shaking head: No, you would not.
Rural Staffordshire
England
Woman entering stall to daughter: See you in an hour. (ten seconds later, from inside stall) You know… People are gross. (another 10 seconds later) Okay, I'm over the toilet!
Daughter: Shhh!
White Plains, New York
Overheard by: L-Dawg
Woman on cell: Everyone's a Jew, except for the Jews!
Livonia, Michigan
