Kid pointing squirt gun at lady passerby: Just pretend they’re bullets.
Geneva, Illinois
Kid pointing squirt gun at lady passerby: Just pretend they’re bullets.
Geneva, Illinois
Guy to friend: What you should've said was, “Ya know, I don't laugh at you when you can't get your dick hard!”
Decatur, Georgia
Kindly older woman on cell: No, no, no, ask him to be gentle, tell him it's your first time…it's beautiful. You're going to love it, Caroline. Okay, love you! Bye!
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Emma Middleton
Dentist instructing dental students: And if it's your first time doing a certain procedure, don't tell the patient. Just do it without them knowing it's your first time. Don't ask them, 'cause they'll probably say no. It's just easier for everyone. (awkward pause) Am I the only one that does that?
Queensland
Australia
Teacher: So, for the final sentence we should get some sort of metaphor for tax cuts helping the US recession.
Student #1: Hmm… Hey, you know like, the commercial where they put gum in the hole in the dam to stop the leak?.
Student #2: Or the finger!
Teacher: Oh, you mean in the dyke!
Student #1: Yeah, so… Tax cuts would be the finger in the hole of America’s dyke?
Teacher: Maybe we shouldn’t use a metaphor.
English Essentials Class
Waimea, Hawaii
Overheard by: boehmface
Man at bar: What do you girls do for a living?
Attractive women: We’re in sales, you?
Man: You’re in sales? I think you need a career change.
Women: I’m sorry, what do you do?
Man: I’m with the carnival.
Country Bar
Fort Worth, Texas
Girl: I can’t believe you’ve never seen The Sound of Music. You have to watch that.
Guy: Fuck that. I wouldn’t watch that movie if you watched it with me, and we were going to fuck afterward.
Mankato, Minnesota
Bearded 20-something to friends: Pants or no pants, I'm gonna party tonight!
Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Matt
Little girl: The show will now begin. Please sit down and turn off your vibrators!
Barnes and Noble
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Pretty sure she’s been to the theater before
Chemistry professor, demonstrating suction filtration: … And you have to stop the cock before you turn on the water, or it will just [frantic hand motion] come all over your face.
Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: amused non-major
