Girl #1: Girl, I am pregnant.
Girl #2: Do you know who the daddy is?
Girl #1: No!
Girl #2: Girl, my doctor told me that when I sleep with a man, to write it on the calendar, so if I get pregnant they can try to find the daddy!
Elevator, Columbus State Community College
Columbus, Ohio
Professor, at 8 am: If coffee doesn't work, drink RedBull. But if that doesn't work, I suggest amphetamines or heroin.
Class, SUNY
Purchase, New York
Overheard by: Jessica
20-something girl to friend: You should totally eat some meat. Maybe you'll get the meat sweats.
Wedding
Redlands, California
Overheard by: Ruben
Conductor: Do not buy anything from the man in the yellow shirt and white tennis shoes. He will be arrested.
Subway
Los Angeles, California
Frowning little boy among kids running and playing: I wonder if this building is haunted. (pause) You should really keep an eye out for these things.
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Muscular black man: I'm like, “if you're going to be gay around me, you have to at least be funny.”
St. Thomas
Virgin Islands
Girl to roommate guy: You should really clean the blood out of your clown shoes.
Colby-Sawyer College Dorm
New London, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Jess
Woman on cell: Take him home in a straitjacket, or take him to the psych ward in a straitjacket…either way, he's not going to be happy.
Saratoga, California
Overheard by: Coffee shoppe caffeine junky
Girl to guy she just met: My mom found out I had been having anal sex. She kept repeating “that's an exit, not an entrance.” I told her how much fun it was, and that she should try it.
University of Oregon
