Squeaking While You're Being Felt Up Is an Added Bonus

Guy: So they would smuggle one of these toy dogs in their shirt pocket.
Girl: Why don't they just put them in their bras? It's like “yeah, I got a boob job while I was in China.”

Rutgers University
New Jersey

Overheard by: RU serious

Posted on January 25, 2020
Animals, Clothes, Colleges & Universities, Default, Geography, Girls, Guys, New Jersey, Questions

Um, What?

Tired restaurant patron: Why would Reese's Pieces put out rhesus monkeys? That's just wrong!

Restaurant
Ocala, Florida

Overheard by: Fully aware restaurant patron

Posted on January 25, 2020
Animals, Bosses, Candy, Florida, Restaurants

At the Very Least, in the Cafeteria Food

Little boy: Mom! Look! An ant!
Mother (pulling little boy by the arm): Come on, sweetie, there will be ants at school.

Burlington, Vermont

Posted on January 4, 2020
Animals, Default, Family ties, Guys, Kids, Moms, Vermont, Women

Unless I'm Just Having a Really Awesome Stroke

Girl to male cat: You're so cute! You smell like bacon… but that's okay.

Lewisville, Texas

Posted on December 17, 2019
Animals, Compare and contrast, Food, Girls, Sensory experiences, Texas

She Wears Steel-Toed Boots.

Teen #1: I could fuck your sister.
Teen #2: Yeah? Well, I could fuck a horse.
Teen #1: No you couldn't.
Teen #2: Why not?
Teen #1: You can't just sneak up on a horse and fuck it in the ass.
Teen #2: I wouldn't sneak up on it, I'd let it know I was there.
Teen #1: You'll get kicked in the face. And you'll die.
Teen #2, quietly: Whatever, dude… Just don't fuck my sister!

New York City, New York

Posted on December 17, 2019
Animals, Ass, Death & dying, Family ties, New York, Sex, Teens, Violence

The High Point Of an All-Cat Theme Park

Boyfriend: Wait! Imagine… zip-lines for cats.
Girlfriend: Yes!

Stevens Point, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Hannah

Posted on November 22, 2019
Animals, Couples, Stupidity, Wisconsin

I'll Stick to My Placenta Face-Cream, Thank You Very Much

Male wedding-goer to female wedding-goer: Oh, you guys work here? Excellent! My sister's husband, oh, I mean my brother-in-law, sells semen. Bull semen.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/367412831/you-know-in-case-youre-in-the-market.html

Overheard by: best pick-up line ever

Posted on November 20, 2019
Animals, Cum, Family ties, Jobs & Careers, Overheard in Minneapolis, Strangers, Weirdness

We'll Never Forget That.

Mom to little girl: No, we are not getting Eliza* a present. She hasn't given you a present ever since the elephant incident.

Disneyland
Anaheim, California

Posted on November 14, 2019
Animals, California, Memory lane, Moms, Parenting, Weirdness

Or You Will Just As Soon As We Stop by That Playground

Four-year-old boy: Mom, can we get a puppy?
Mom: You don't need a puppy, you have a little brother.
Four-year-old boy: Yay!

Carlsbad, California

Overheard by: californiabeaner

Posted on November 10, 2019
Advice, Animals, California, Default, Family ties, Guys, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Questions, Wishes

And Then There's the Peeing in My Closet

Sit-ups guy to older dude: Oh, hey there, Bob.
Older dude: You know, every time I see you I think of my dog.
Sit-ups guy: Oh? Why's that?
Older dude: I keep trying to get him to kneel. (walks away)

Z-Center, MIT
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: MaybeHisNameIsNeal

Posted on November 10, 2019
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Massachusetts, Questions, Students

Animals