…According to Perez.

Small child to father: You're a sad puppy that burps. You're a stinky puppy that's sad… and burps.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/09/daddys-little-girl.html

Overheard by: elizabeth

Posted on April 17, 2020
Animals, Burping & farting, Compare and contrast, Family ties, Overheard in PDX, Should have used a condom

Plus, That’s Chicken

20-something guy, about his sushi: This takes me back to when I used to live in Japan.
Brunette: When did you ever live there?
20-something guy: No, I mean in my past life.
Brunette: What makes you think you were Japanese?
20-something guy: Because ever since I was little I have always loved seafood.
Brunette: … Maybe you were a fish.
20-something guy: Not cool.

Sushi restaurant
Worcester, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Wallflower

Posted on March 18, 2020
Animals, Comebacks, Default, Food, Geography, Girls, Guys, Massachusetts, Memory lane, Restaurants

Though I’d Always Pictured You As More of a Titmouse

Suit on cell: Wait, while I’ve got you on the phone, what’s your animal spirit name? … Ah, ‘White Wolf’ — of course. All right, see you then.

Coffee shop
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Baffled Bear

Posted on February 17, 2020
Animals, Default, Indiana, Names, On the phone, Questions, Suits

Fine, Call It “Guano” If That Makes You Feel Better

Man to son: Stop talking about vampire bats and focus on your poop.

San Diego, California

Posted on February 2, 2020
Advice, Animals, California, Dads, Default, Family ties, Poop

Squeaking While You're Being Felt Up Is an Added Bonus

Guy: So they would smuggle one of these toy dogs in their shirt pocket.
Girl: Why don't they just put them in their bras? It's like “yeah, I got a boob job while I was in China.”

Rutgers University
New Jersey

Overheard by: RU serious

Posted on January 25, 2020
Animals, Clothes, Colleges & Universities, Default, Geography, Girls, Guys, New Jersey, Questions

Um, What?

Tired restaurant patron: Why would Reese's Pieces put out rhesus monkeys? That's just wrong!

Restaurant
Ocala, Florida

Overheard by: Fully aware restaurant patron

Posted on January 25, 2020
Animals, Bosses, Candy, Florida, Restaurants

At the Very Least, in the Cafeteria Food

Little boy: Mom! Look! An ant!
Mother (pulling little boy by the arm): Come on, sweetie, there will be ants at school.

Burlington, Vermont

Posted on January 4, 2020
Animals, Default, Family ties, Guys, Kids, Moms, Vermont, Women

Unless I'm Just Having a Really Awesome Stroke

Girl to male cat: You're so cute! You smell like bacon… but that's okay.

Lewisville, Texas

Posted on December 17, 2019
Animals, Compare and contrast, Food, Girls, Sensory experiences, Texas

She Wears Steel-Toed Boots.

Teen #1: I could fuck your sister.
Teen #2: Yeah? Well, I could fuck a horse.
Teen #1: No you couldn't.
Teen #2: Why not?
Teen #1: You can't just sneak up on a horse and fuck it in the ass.
Teen #2: I wouldn't sneak up on it, I'd let it know I was there.
Teen #1: You'll get kicked in the face. And you'll die.
Teen #2, quietly: Whatever, dude… Just don't fuck my sister!

New York City, New York

Posted on December 17, 2019
Animals, Ass, Death & dying, Family ties, New York, Sex, Teens, Violence

The High Point Of an All-Cat Theme Park

Boyfriend: Wait! Imagine… zip-lines for cats.
Girlfriend: Yes!

Stevens Point, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Hannah

Posted on November 22, 2019
Animals, Couples, Stupidity, Wisconsin

Animals