Girl, after US history exam: How did you do on the essays?
Serious boy: Well, I drew hand turkeys on three pages of the answer booklet, and on the fourth I drew a picture of Samuel Glompers riding a tortoise while holding a marble cake.
High School Gymnasium
West Palm Beach, Florida
Girl on phone: I got two pairs of pants, a shirt, and I almost bought a beaver.
Boone, North Carolina
Random guy: It's like I'm on the Pony Express or something…and I'm the pony!
Harvard Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Bubblehead: Well, it’s inhumane. I don’t think they should keep them in cages… The, you know, what-do-they-call-em… kinky Jews.
Frat boy: Dumbass, they’re kinkajous. It’s a small, monkey-like animal, not a person.
Bubblehead: Oh. That’s different, then.
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/03/let-them-control-world-or-theyll-throw.html
Overheard by: crankyprof
Gay boy: … And I woke up and my room was filled with red buttons and ears of corn, then my comforter turned into a giant lake, and three purple rhinoceroses just like rose out of it! And–
Girlfriend #1: No, Christian, there is no such thing as rhinoceroses. The plural of “rhinoceros” is “rhinocerii”.
Girlfriend #2: Stacy… I don’t think that’s right… I think it may be “rhinos-“
Girlfriend #1: Courtney, that’s ridiculous, we’re being serious here…
Gay boy: Okay, guys! It doesn’t matter. Anyway, back to the story… The weirdest part is, after all that happened, I thought I liked girls…
Girlfriend #1 and girlfriend #2: Wow… That is strange…
Huntington Movie Theater
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Mo
Chemistry professor, demonstrating suction filtration: … And you have to stop the cock before you turn on the water, or it will just [frantic hand motion] come all over your face.
Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: amused non-major
Man beside pen with goat: I am not paying that much for that! I am not buying your goat!
Goatkeeper: Nobody's buying the goat.
Man beside pen with goat: That's it, I'm taking the goat!
Goatkeeper: Nobody's taking the goat, we're not selling the goat!
Large passerby: There are no goats in Cameroon.
Toronto
Canadia
Boyfriend looking at stone sculpture of camel: Yo, what do camels eat?
Girlfriend: Camels eat people.
Boyfriend: I think they eat grass.
Girlfriend: No. Camels eat people.
Boyfriend, turning to passersby: Excuse me, what do camels eat?
Passerby #1: Uhh…I think they eat plants.
Girlfriend: No! Camels eat people!
Passerby #2: But, look, they don't have any claws or fangs. They can't eat people.
Passerby #1, disgusted: They eat plants.
Girlfriend, scoffing: There's no plants in the desert! That's why they eat people. Camels eat people!
Royal Ontario Museum
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Camels should eat some people…
Female student #1: Can you ride me piggyback after class?
Female student #2: Can *he* ride *you* after class?
Female student #1, giggling: That's not what I meant!
Male student: Wait, don't you have, like, 20 cats?
Female student #1: (slaps him)
Female student #2: You do have a lot of cats…
Simmons College
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Yoshi
