Girl, looking at video games: If I had a sword that pimp, I would just kill people all day and run around.
Boy following her: Girl, if you had a sword that pimp I would stop being gay and make you stop to make love to me.
Girl, looking appalled: I’d be busy killing people, though.
Boy, matter-of-factly: Well… I’d make you stop every thirteen kills.
Random Walmart
Boise, Idaho
Overheard by: Bunnee
Hungover girl #1: I really feel like an ass.
Hungover girl #2: Why do you feel like an ass?
Hungover girl #1: Well I did throw a drink on someone.
Hungover girl #2, nodding: And got kicked out of the bar twice.
Wilmington, North Carolina
Elderly Bible as Literature professor: People often say things that catch people off guard. Like if I said even Jesus shat.
(entire class goes completely silent)
Professor: Holy shit, huh?
College
Massachusetts
Aging dork #1: I like Star Trek, but not Star Wars because they never pay attention to physics.
Aging dork #2: William Shatner is a pimp.
Peterson Air Force Base
Colorado
Drunk girl, loudly, to her drunk friends: I mean, she’s slept with or semi-slept with more people than I have!
Clark and Broadway
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: flunk_punk
Guy to friends: I use condoms in town, but skeet out of town.
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Eve's dropper
Female college student eating grapes: Look, it's a baby grape. And this one is like a grape fetus.
Roommate: What? Are there flavored fetuses?
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Larissa
High school student: She’s a two faced bitch, but not in a bad way.
http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2008/04/high-school-student-at-lowell-high.html
Overheard by: emily
Girl: I heard cum was high in protein, but it’s also high in calories.
Guy: Yes… It is also high in Vitamin D, iron, serotonin. Sadly, a woman’s body can hardly produce an equally useful food supplement.
Girl: … It produces babies!
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Loud 40-something: The government wants to cut down on unplanned pregnancy and decrease abortions, but a dozen condoms is as much as a 12-pack of beer? Hello, middle America is not choosing condoms over beer!
Burlington, Vermont
