Then There Was the Guy We Stabbed and Stuck in the Dumpster…

Hungover girl #1: I really feel like an ass.
Hungover girl #2: Why do you feel like an ass?
Hungover girl #1: Well I did throw a drink on someone.
Hungover girl #2, nodding: And got kicked out of the bar twice.

Wilmington, North Carolina

Posted on February 29, 2020
Ass, Compare and contrast, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Girls, North Carolina, Violence, Weirdness

…I've Been Saving That Up All Semester.

Elderly Bible as Literature professor: People often say things that catch people off guard. Like if I said even Jesus shat.
(entire class goes completely silent)
Professor: Holy shit, huh?

College
Massachusetts

Posted on February 26, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Jesus, Massachusetts, Poop, Questions, Religious fanatics, Teachers

He's Gone So Many Places No Man Has Gone Before

Aging dork #1: I like Star Trek, but not Star Wars because they never pay attention to physics.
Aging dork #2: William Shatner is a pimp.

Peterson Air Force Base
Colorado

Posted on February 22, 2020
Airports & flights, Colorado, Compare and contrast, Default, Dorks, Geeks & Nerds, Movies, Names, Words

The Slut Recordkeeping System Parallels Major League Baseball’s

Drunk girl, loudly, to her drunk friends: I mean, she’s slept with or semi-slept with more people than I have!

Clark and Broadway
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: flunk_punk

Posted on February 20, 2020
Compare and contrast, Creepsters, Default, Drunks, Friends, Girls, Illinois, Sexuality

…Where No One Knows My Identity.

Guy to friends: I use condoms in town, but skeet out of town.

Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Eve's dropper

Posted on February 11, 2020
Compare and contrast, Condoms, Friends, Guys, Tennessee

Like the Sex-Ed DVD Abortion: Delicious, but Deadly

Female college student eating grapes: Look, it's a baby grape. And this one is like a grape fetus.
Roommate: What? Are there flavored fetuses?

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Larissa

Posted on February 8, 2020
Compare and contrast, Default, Friends, Fruit, Girls, Oregon, Questions, Students

This Concludes My Essay on “Who I Admire Most”

High school student: She’s a two faced bitch, but not in a bad way.

http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2008/04/high-school-student-at-lowell-high.html

Overheard by: emily

Posted on February 5, 2020
Compare and contrast, Default, Insults, Overheard Lines, Students, Teens, Words

Not If You Swallow the Sperm Like a Good Girl

Girl: I heard cum was high in protein, but it’s also high in calories.
Guy: Yes… It is also high in Vitamin D, iron, serotonin. Sadly, a woman’s body can hardly produce an equally useful food supplement.
Girl: … It produces babies!

Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia

Posted on February 4, 2020
Canadia, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Cum, Default, Food, Girls, Guys, Science

When, Really, They Go Together Like a Wink and Smile

Loud 40-something: The government wants to cut down on unplanned pregnancy and decrease abortions, but a dozen condoms is as much as a 12-pack of beer? Hello, middle America is not choosing condoms over beer!

Burlington, Vermont

Posted on January 29, 2020
Compare and contrast, Default, Drinking & drunks, Money, Politics, Pregnancy, Vermont

According to the Very Reliable Hobo on My Corner

Girl: I didn't say I was a lesbian cyborg, I just said I was a cyborg.
Guy: All cyborgs are lesbians.

Townsville
Australia

Posted on January 21, 2020
Australia, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Guys, Sexuality, Technology, Weirdness

Compare and contrast