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Girl in stall: I have paper stuck in my vagina.
Friend: You might not want to say that, there’s people here.
Girl in stall: Why is vagina a bad word?

Ladies Room, Foreplay Bar
Portland, Maine

Overheard by: How did it get there?

College-aged girl on cell: How am I supposed to date him if I’m afraid he’s going to kill me and keep my vagina in a jar?

Grocery Store, Kentucky

Guy: So I fell asleep in bio today and when I woke up this bitch was watching me.
Girl: Good story.
Guy: And then I sneezed.
Girl: [Laughs.] Wait, that was actually part of your story?

Hoboken, New Jersey

Tall guy: My girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend had an eight inch penis.
Younger friend girl: What!? Why would she tell you that?!
Tall guy: I guess she just thought I should know.
Younger friend girl: No, here’s a better question. Why would you tell me that!?

Chick-fil-A
Houston, Texas

Female sexual predator: I have a cookie jar in my pants and the lid is always open!

http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2008/04/03/amk-warts-those-are-chocolate-chips/

40-something woman on phone: Was that the time when we made cone bras or the time when we shaved our legs with a nail file?

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

Exasperated woman: I just called to say “I love you” while I had a moment to myself, okay?! Jeez! [Flushes.]

Women’s Bathroom, Bay Park Square Mall
Green Bay, Wisconsin

Middle-aged creepster: She was a slut in middle school, so she’s my type of girl.

Gentle Bens Brewery
Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: a middle school slut

Spaced-out kid: And I think it was some kind of message in that out-of-body experience. Like, it was my soul trying to tell me that after I finished puking, I should take a shower.
Teenage queer: Your dreams are fucked.

St. Andrew’s College
Aurora
Canadia

Little girl: My pizza is naked!

Fresh Grocer
Drexel Hill, Pennsylvania