It's All the Technicolor Yawns I've Been Doing

Dentist, about to perform a root canal and three fillings: Wow, you have groovy teeth!

Glen Ellyn, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on November 9, 2017
Body parts, Compliments, Default, Health & Hygiene, Illinois, Medical personnel, Words

Huh? Can't Talk. Masturbating

Professor, on last day of sex addiction class: I'm putting a website on the board for anyone who's interested in more information on how to become a certified sex addict.
(entire class cheers)
Professor: I meant “sex addiction therapist.”
Student to another: He just spent a whole semester telling us that sex addiction isn't fun. Clearly we didn't catch on.

Chestnut Hill College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on November 8, 2017
Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Internet, Pennsylvania, Sex, Students, Teachers

As I Told Her During My Proposal

Guy describing girlfriend to friends: The best thing about her is that there's nothing extraordinary about her at all. (pauses) Yep, the thing I like the most about her is there's absolutely nothing special about her.

Calgary
Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: whibs

Posted on November 8, 2017
Canadia, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Guys, Weirdness

…Socially

Girl: Oh, don't worry, I like weird things too. I like to see fat squirrels.

Manhattan, Kansas

Posted on November 6, 2017
Advice, Animals, Default, Girls, Kansas, Weirdness

Even Mothers Don't Really Know Where Babies Come From

60-something woman: He has always been a quiet person. He's been that way for as long as I have know him, and I have known him since he was a little boy.
Car salesman: Yeah. Wait, didn't you give birth to him?
Woman: I guess I have known him pretty much from the beginning, then. Weird.

Car Dealership
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: stephen

Posted on November 5, 2017
Age and ageing, Default, Employees, Guys, Kids, Oklahoma, Questions, Weirdness, Women

Crazy Like a Bunny

Older woman, picking up a bag of peppermints: I still have candy corn out from Halloween. Is it okay to have peppermints and candy corn out at the same time?
Younger woman: What do I look like, Miss Manners? You've been to my house…you know there's still Easter candy out in my candy dishes. And until that goes, I'm not putting anything else out.
Older woman: Now I understand why your children are crazy.

Grocery Store
Hamilton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Currrly!

Posted on November 1, 2017
Candy, Default, Holidays, Kids, New Jersey, Old folks, Questions, Stores, Women

And We Could Finally Use Pick-up Lines About “Magic Carpet Rides”

Guy #1: Yo, it would be tight to work in a rug store.
Guy #2: Yeah, man. All those different kinds of rugs…

Oakland, California

Overheard by: archidork

Posted on October 30, 2017
California, Default, Guys, Hair, Jobs & Careers, Vagina, Wishes, Words

She Was Also Fantastic at Hiding in Attics

Girl: Do you know who Helen Keller is?
Guy: No.
Girl: Well, she was blind, deaf, and something else…
Guy: Dumb?
Girl: No, she was quite intelligent actually, but I think she could smell.

Corvallis, Oregon