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Layer-wearing college student: We went to Ikea in a Zipcar, and some jerk had left all their Starbucks trash in the front seat.
Queer: You are such a trendy bitch I don't know whether to hug you or puke on your shoes.

Newbury Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: i'd go with puke

Tiny girl to friend: You're not fat, you're Santa Claus-esque. Get it right, whore.

Coronado Middle School
Coronado, California

Overheard by: they won the game

Drunk bride: One time, I broke my dildo into two pieces. With my…you know. (other girls look at her in disbelief) What? I was horny!

Bridal Shower
Norway

Overheard by: Hege

Girl sitting at desk: I've got to pee. I've got to pee. Urine needs to come out of my uterus.

Dayton, Ohio

Overheard by: LC

Guy: So, you dance in the room where nobody else does?
Girl: Yeah, I guess nobody understands me. Not even at goth night.

Louisville, Kentucky

Tiny girlfriend: I know way more Killers songs than I thought!
Tall boyfriend (patting her head): It's because you're clever.

Northern Ireland

Overheard by: Limeinside

Girl on phone: Yeah, and your boobs hang out! It's weird!

College Station, Texas

Bimbette in bathroom stall: So what are these hooks for?
Friend: To like, hang your coat or bag or whatever.
Bimbette: Oh my god! I am so stupid! I've been putting my coat on the floor! How long have you known about this? (runs out of stall, yells to random girl) Did you know about the hooks?! (girl nods) I am so stupid!

Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: chloe

Crying girl to boyfriend: But I love you! You love me!
Boyfriend: Listen very carefully to me. I fucked her. You shouldn't have been a bitch to me about your friends. Now you can get over this and stop being a bitch and we can go get dinner and ice cream and then go home and fuck like sexy little drunk bunnies, or you can keep it up and find yourself without a boyfriend. Your call. Move on and be in love with me, or be a bitch and get dumped.
Girlfriend, still crying: I'm sorry.
Boyfriend: I know. It's okay.

Atlanta, Georgia

Professor: The floor's getting further away the older I get, but there's always Jack Daniels and Percocet.

Rutgers University
New Jersey

Overheard by: hopes he never gets THAT old