Psychology professor, on the topic of conditioning: Well, you can't spank a dolphin!
UCCS
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: really?
Psychology professor, on the topic of conditioning: Well, you can't spank a dolphin!
UCCS
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: really?
Yuppie boyfriend (excitedly): Let's have an Ashton Kutcher movie marathon night!
Yuppie girlfriend (whispering): Honey, we've already talked about this…
Blockbuster
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Pallas
Woman #1: We went to a club together one time and they were still dating, and he kept trying to kiss me. Well, I refused to. But then my cell phone got stolen and I was mad, so we made out. A lot.
Woman #2: You made out with him because your phone got stolen?
Woman #1: Yeah, basically. I was pissed and trying to have a good night, and he's very attractive. So I was like, “let's go!”
Woman #2: I think you're my hero.
Woman #1: I'm supposed to go to a concert with him next week.
Woman #2: Well, don't lose your wallet, because then you'll have to do him.
Fayetteville, North Carolina
Overheard by: James
Professor: I mean, if you saw Eminem on the street you'd say, “He's white,” but if you see him kickin' ass in 8 Mile, then you'd see he's black.
Haines Hall
UCLA, California
Overheard by: downtown
Professor: So where else could the US get money for the $700 billion dollar economic bailout other than the American taxpayers?
Student: I think that they should have a bake sale!
Meredith College
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: Jen
Girl on cell: I hope that I am never in the position where I need to ask your mother about your sister's vagina, my dear.
Wisconsin
Overheard by: Sara
Employee: Hi, can I help you find anything?
Ghetto kid: Yeah, I'm looking for a book called Marijuana Horticulture.
Employee: Yeah, I know that book. I think we are out, though.
Bookstore
Stockton, California
Overheard by: Can I get some of that?
Gay male flight attendant: If you'll be requiring wheelchair assistance when we get to Cleveland, please remain seated. Because, if you stand up, we'll assume you've been healed by the Holy Spirit and no longer need our help.
Passengers: (laughter)
Flight attendant: And please keep your seatbelts fastened until we've reached the gate and come to a complete stop.
(man in front row unbuckles his belt)
Flight attendant: Stop it, cheater!
Southwest Airlines Flight
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Erica
High school football player #1: I'll be watching you guys from the stands today.
High school football player #2: What? Why? Did you get suspended?
High school football player #1: Yeah.
High school football player #2: Why?
High school football player #1: Cause of what I said. But I didn't pee in any helmets.
Langhorne, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Tom
