Old man employee:… So I was at the Cabbage Patch Kid factory in Georgia…
Young trailer trash dude employee: Cabbage Patch Kids?!? I’d rather hold hands with a midget clown than play with one of those things!
Hardware Store
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: kat
Four-year-old: I'm not here to make friends!
Disney's Animal Kingdom
Orlando, Florida
Suit #1: Yeah, I went in for a colonoscopy last week.
Suit #2: Really? How was it? Painful?
Suit #1: No, actually, with all the Demerol they gave me I don't remember anything about it…love that Demerol…so much so that I think I'll schedule another ass scope for next week.
Modesto, California
Overheard by: Ken Lane
Girl #1: I mean, there are those people who pretend to be so moral, and then you find out they're, like, fucking a giraffe.
Girl #2, laughing: Ew! That's disgusting.
Girl #3: Seriously, though, hypocrites suck.
Girl #2: But what would that feel like?
Girl #1: What, being a hypocrite?
Girl #2: No… You know… The giraffe.
Girl #3: Ew… Uhm, horrible?
Girl #2: Yeah, you're right.
(five minutes later, in the middle of another topic)
Girl #2: But really, I think it would depend on how old it was.
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: The giraffe.
Girl #1: Are you still thinking about fucking a giraffe?!?
Girl #3: We need to make sure she doesn't go to the zoo. That can only end badly.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: that sounds wholly unpleasant
Teen girl #1: I think we need to get her a rebound guy.
Teen girl #2: Don't you think it's a bit soon? Paul died like two weeks ago.
Teen girl #1: Hmm. I guess. (pause) Maybe just for weekends then?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, okay.
Bus Stop
Brisbane
Australia
Overheard by: cara
Teen girl #1: You know, in some ways I really despise you.
Teen girl #2: What?!
Teen girl #1: It's okay, I didn't mean it; I just wanted to say something to hurt your feelings!
Shropshire
England
Penn student #1, looking at sculpture: Oh my god, I, like, totally hate art.
Penn student #2: I know, right? They should just buy us all laptops instead.
Locust Walk
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
First grade boy: I had two girlfriends but I lost one.
First grade girl: Didn't one of them kiss you?
First grade boy: Yeah, Hannah told Alexis to kiss whoever she liked more, and it was me and this other girl, and she was going to kiss her, but then she kissed me and we've been together for, like, forever.
First grade girl: Yeah.
Lakeville, Massachusetts
Overheard by: was still playing with barbies- clothed
RA: You guys went stripping without me?
Swarthmore College
Swarthmore, Pennsylvania
