Feelings

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we are normally a six-car train. Today they gave us four cars. I cried, I begged, but to no avail. (10 minutes later) Next stop, Secaucus! Hang on, we're gonna make it!

Transit Train
New Jersey

Overheard by: twoferrets

Woman on cell: I just asked how’s he doing and he actually told me that he’s getting hard just talking to me. [Pause.] Well, what do you think I would say? “Oh ,that’s nice”!? Hell no! I said: “Oh crap! Sorry, I have another call, gotta go”. Yeah, that was definitely odd. Remind me never to be nice and try calling my exes again.

Florida

Professor: My job is pretty sweet. All I have to do is show up and talk about something I'm interested in. How sweet is that? It would be even better if I didn't hate all of you.

Columbia College
Chicago, Illinois

Bearded dude: Yeah… I care a lot more about my penis than I do my friends.
Not quite as bearded dude: Oh, totally.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/270406952/you-know-what-they-say-about-loving-yourself.html

Overheard by: wondering if that is selfish, or self preservation…

Skinny brunette: I hate her! I hate her so much!
Fat chick: Why? What did she do this time?
Skinny brunette: It's just the same stuff. She hangs her thongs on the wall, and they keep multiplying. Plus, she leaves the window opened.

Sarah Lawrence College
Bronxville, New York

Hungover guy #1: Dude, you smell like alcohol!
Hungover guy #2: Bro, I feel like alcohol.

Elmore, Alabama

Priest: Their first love has brought them so many tears and grief… and black eyes. But they will love again!

Saint Peter's College
New Jersey

Young man: Female curling is awesome to watch with your eyes closed.

Hoover, Alabama

Overheard by: tony jones

Mid-20s girl: So, I’ve been a vegetarian for about six years now and I’m trying to phase out all animal products.
Mid-40s woman: Oh, I could never be a vegetarian, I’d die. I like my potatoes too much.
Mid-20s girl: Umm… Potatoes are vegetables.
Mid-40s woman: Yeah, I guess you’re right. But I mean like peas and stuff.

Kokomo, Indiana

Overheard by: Justin

Punk guy: Man, I hate all these suburban punks.
Dumb girl: “Suburban”? Is that even a word??

Toledo, Ohio

Overheard by: Audrey