Like Having Grandma Sit on Your Face

Hostess describing rose and black lady tea combo: Smells like rose, tastes like lady.

Beijing
China

Posted on October 20, 2020
China, Default, Food, Language barrier, Sensory experiences, Women, Words

Well, I Got a Lap Dance in the Buffet Line

Girl one: Smell my face. Smell right here. Doesn’t it smell great? The stripper I got a lap dance from was wearing great perfume.
Girl two: It smells like pickles.

Toby Keith’s Restaurant
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: At least it doesn’t smell like tuna

Posted on October 13, 2020
Compare and contrast, Dancing, Default, Food, Girls, Nevada, Restaurants, Sensory experiences, Sexuality

She May Have Put Her Pie on Your Pie

Roommate #1 looking at crater-filled pie in freezer: Dude, what did you do to this pie?
Roommate #2: Me and Erin* kinda went at it…
Roommate #3: Oh, yeah? What else did you guys do?
Roommate #2: …with a spoon.

Bayonne, New Jersey

Posted on October 10, 2020
Food, Guys, New Jersey, Sex

Guess What I’ve Done with the Butter Dispenser

Popcorn hater: Oh my god! You’re going to walk out of there with a popcorn-bag fashioned diaper, aren’t you?
Popcorn enthusiast: It’s supportive and delicious!

Tempe, Arizona

Overheard by: Meghan

Posted on September 19, 2020
Arizona, Creepsters, Default, Food, Weirdness

…Since I Accepted Homer Simpson As My Personal Savior

Teenage girl #1: He hates me.
Teenage girl #2: He doesn’t hate you. Maybe you should just say “hi” to him.
Teenage girl #1: How am I supposed to say “hi”? I have voices in my head saying “I want cheeseburgers”!

Canberra
Australia

Posted on September 15, 2020
Advice, Australia, Default, Feelings, Food, Friends, Girls, Teens

Nine Months Later, I Had You.

Student: So then I turned round and there was a snake in my bacon!

Birchwood Community High School
Warrington
England

Posted on September 9, 2020
Animals, England, Food, Students, Weirdness

Mr. Duchovny's Voicemail Fills Up Fast

Teenage girl on cell: David, I fucked you last night. The least you could do is give me a ride to Taco Bell.

St. Louis, Missouri

Posted on September 8, 2020
Assholes, Couples, Food, Missouri, Sex

Let Me Guess– Rainbow Sherbert?

Drunken girl: I don't know, Luke, I'm just sick and tired of people who want to sit in their rooms and watch YouTube videos and eat sherbert.
Drunken guy: You don't like sherbert?
Drunken girl: No, I like it… but only with adventure.
Drunken guy: I wanted adventure. I feel kind of bad, though, that I didn't experiment enough.
Drunken girl: With what?
Drunken guy: With guys. I don't know, it just hasn't happened.
Drunken girl: Well, don't rush it. If you let it happen naturally, it will.
Drunken guy: But what if I don't like it? And say, “No, this isn't for me”?
Drunken girl: Let's go eat something.
Drunken guy: Sherbert?
Drunken girl: Yep.

Claremont, California

Posted on August 10, 2020
California, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Feelings, Food, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Internet, Questions, Wishes

Translation: I’m Still a Little Stoned

Girl, frantically looking through fridge: Shit, I’m gonna be late for work… What the hell? Why is your rice in my freezer?
Boyfriend: Because then it will be happy and prosperous.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Nic

Posted on July 24, 2020
Couples, Food, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Happiness, Questions, Washington, DC, Weirdness

Dad's the Other White Meat.

Girl #1: So my mother says our dog is her “little sausage,” so she's started calling him “pork sword.”
Girl #2, laughing: That's got to be awkward!
Girl #1: Tell me about it! The other day my boyfriend thought she was yelling for my dad.

Cape Town
South Africa

Posted on July 19, 2020
Africa, Animals, Food, Girls, Names

Food