Food

Dude, We Sell That Here

Cop: Have you ever seen a burn victim autopsy?
Security guard chick: No.
Cop: Well, they cut into the guy, and it smelled like cooked meat. It actually made me hungry.

Wal-Mart
Richmond, Texas

Overheard by: Occam’s Lady Schick

Posted on July 10, 2015
Blue collar, Cops, Death & dying, Default, Food, Questions, Texas

When Culinary Students Have Orgies

Tiny college girl waiting in line: The cookies are soooooo good!
Tall male friend, confused: The ice cream?
Tiny college girl: The penises!
Tall male friend: Oh!
Tiny college girl: We just didn't let them cool!

Stop & Shop
Manhattan, New York

Posted on July 10, 2015
Food, Friends, New York, Penis, Sorority types, Stores

Kim Jong-il Actually Pulls Off “Hobo” Flawlessly

Hobo, panhandling to passer-bys: Can anyone spare some change so I can buy a little wine, some booze, some cheese, a little pot… Maybe some nuclear weapons…

Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: http://psychedelicmess.blogspot.com

Posted on July 9, 2015
Canadia, Drinking & drunks, Drugs, Food, Hobos, Money, Panhandling, Strangers, Violence

At Least There's No Violin Shortage

Starbucks employee: Actually, most of the stores in the city are out of soy today.
Pompous customer: Well, what am I supposed to do? Starve?

Starbucks
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Ho Lexington III

Posted on July 9, 2015
Bringing it back to you, Customers, Employees, Food, Pennsylvania, Restaurants, Stupidity

We All Love the No-Hands Rule, Sir

Soccer coach: I love Fiji water.
Assistant: It's silky smooth.
Soccer coach: It's never been touched by human hands until it touches my lips.

Texas

Posted on July 8, 2015
Coworkers, Food, Hands, Mouth, Texas

Dating MacGyver Scars You for Life

Chick to friend: Oh, yeah, this doesn’t look suspicious. A taco wrapped in a Dollar Tree bag, a baby, and a grill lighter.

16th Street Mall
Denver, Colorado

Posted on July 6, 2015
Colorado, Default, Fears, Feelings, Food, Friends, Girls, Malls

You Don't Have a Dog, Sir.

Old man: I'll have two scoops of chocolate raspberry truffle in a waffle cone, and a baby cone for my dog. He's the one who made us stop here.

Brusters Ice Cream
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Caylin

Posted on July 5, 2015
Animals, Food, Georgia, Old folks, Stores, Weirdness

An Equation That Changes After Puberty

Mom to young daughter: No, you don't get a lollipop just because you're wearing underwear.

Dulwich Village
London
England

Overheard by: Didn't get a lollipop either

Posted on July 4, 2015
England, Food, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Undies

Canadian Ice Cream Is Not for the Faint of Heart

Guy: So yeah, our ice cream is good. It’s not made out of cat.

Ontario
Canadia

Posted on July 4, 2015
Animals, Canadia, Compare and contrast, Food, Guys, Pride

To Be Fair, His Vision Has Never Been Better!

Girl, looking at friend's aquarium: Why is there a carrot?! Is that what you've been feeding your snail?

Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on July 4, 2015
Animals, Food, Girls, New Jersey, Questions