We All Love the No-Hands Rule, Sir

Soccer coach: I love Fiji water.
Assistant: It's silky smooth.
Soccer coach: It's never been touched by human hands until it touches my lips.

Texas

Posted on July 8, 2015
Coworkers, Food, Hands, Mouth, Texas

Dating MacGyver Scars You for Life

Chick to friend: Oh, yeah, this doesn’t look suspicious. A taco wrapped in a Dollar Tree bag, a baby, and a grill lighter.

16th Street Mall
Denver, Colorado

Posted on July 6, 2015
Colorado, Default, Fears, Feelings, Food, Friends, Girls, Malls

You Don't Have a Dog, Sir.

Old man: I'll have two scoops of chocolate raspberry truffle in a waffle cone, and a baby cone for my dog. He's the one who made us stop here.

Brusters Ice Cream
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Caylin

Posted on July 5, 2015
Animals, Food, Georgia, Old folks, Stores, Weirdness

An Equation That Changes After Puberty

Mom to young daughter: No, you don't get a lollipop just because you're wearing underwear.

Dulwich Village
London
England

Overheard by: Didn't get a lollipop either

Posted on July 4, 2015
England, Food, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Undies

Canadian Ice Cream Is Not for the Faint of Heart

Guy: So yeah, our ice cream is good. It’s not made out of cat.

Ontario
Canadia

Posted on July 4, 2015
Animals, Canadia, Compare and contrast, Food, Guys, Pride

To Be Fair, His Vision Has Never Been Better!

Girl, looking at friend's aquarium: Why is there a carrot?! Is that what you've been feeding your snail?

Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on July 4, 2015
Animals, Food, Girls, New Jersey, Questions

Otherwise the Natural Process Of Erosion Will Take Care Of It

Guy coming into classroom: Somebody left their bagel in the water fountain.
Girl in classroom, without looking up: It's a donut.
Guy coming into classroom: Somebody left their donut in the water fountain.
Girl in classroom: It's still wrapped, if anyone wants it.

Chestnut Hill College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania