Food

Dad: Oh, the menu says they have fish tacos. Have you ever had a fish taco? I've never had a fish taco.
Mom: No, I haven't. I don't think I'm going to get a fish taco.
Young daughter (under her breath): Fish tacos make me think bad things.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Overheard by: they make me think bad things too

Preppy guy on cell: Really? He didn't spit on me when I fed him the other day.

Cal Poly Pomona
Pomona, California

Overheard by: sorry, my llama is unpredictable

Freshmen dorm girl: Take it from someone who swallows quite often: it's actually pretty fun!

Washington State University
Pullman, Washington

Oldish Ukrainian woman: How you have babies with hips like this? How you do this? So skinny. Tsk, tsk.
Skinny chick: Huh?
Oldish Ukrainian woman: Here, eat my husband's sausage. He fill you up. Eat! Eat!

Edmonton
Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: not so skinny

Girl #1: So I saw you had some summer's eve in your bathroom earlier… Do you have a douche?
Girl #2: I saw that when I was in there too! It's not a douche. I looked at the box. It's just wipes.
Girl #1: Why would you need wipes?
Girl #3: You know when you eat a hamburger and have ketchup on your face, so you use a napkin to wipe it off? Well it's just like that, but it's for your vagina!

Appleton, Wisconsin

Vegetarian girl: I think you guys should stop eating meat.
Friend: I don’t eat meat that much, but every now and then I gotta have a steak.
Vegetarian girl: Ewww, gross!
Friend: I mean, they’re not a necessity or anything, but if I had to choose between eating a steak and saving a puppy, I’d eat the steak.

San Antonio, Texas

Overheard by: poor dog

Girl #1: So pasta, like, traumatized you?
Girl #2: Yeah, I hate pasta! Pasta ruined my life!

Frary Dining Hall, Pomona College
Claremont, California

Girl to friend: I just don't understand why people don't want to be covered in spaghetti!

University of Virginia

Overheard by: MW

Guy to friend, matter-of-factly: You know he’s just teaching there for the kielbasa.

Macalester College
St. Paul, Minnesota

Emo kid carrying a toaster with two slices of bread: Everyone's looking at our toaster.

Glenfield Mall
Auckland
New Zealand

Overheard by: Kelly