Queer #1: You have so many ringtones!
Queer #2: Yeah, when I get depressed I buy ringtones. It's my thing!
Queer #1: When I get depressed I but chocolate and underwear.
Queer #2: Holla!
(they high five)
West Hollywood, California
Overheard by: Big Al
Nigerian man to wife loading small children into overcrowded rental van: Come, we are in America now! We go home and eat cheese!
Rosicrucian Museum
San Jose, California
Dude #1: So did you fuck that chick after we left the other night?
Dude #2 (glancing around to make sure no one's listening): Yeah.
Dude #1: Yes! I knew it!
Dude #2: Dude, I didn't even know what was going on until I came outta my blackout, and realized I was balls deep.
Dude #1: Condom?
Dude #2: (shakes head)
Dude #1: Yes!
Toons Bar
Chicago, Illinois
Counselor: What do you need Legos for?
Nine-year-old boy: To make weaponry!
Center for Autism and Emotional Support
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Little boy hitting trash can: I demand this trash can to give me money!
Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium
Tacoma, Washington
Guy to friend: So she broke her vibrator for the third time?
Mystic Lake Casino
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Pompous guy: The karmic wrong done to me that day was absorbed by the jacket!
Fremont
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Mickity Mike
Guy #1, walking down sidewalk: I really have to poo.
Guy #2, walking down sidewalk: Speaking of poo, I could use some poontang.
Random girl walking the other way: Oh my goodness!
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Alexa
Wrestler's mom: You need to stop flirting with all of those girls.
Wrestler: But mom, she came up to me, and was hitting on me, and said she wanted to have sex with me.
Varsity Wrestling Meet
Buchanan, Michigan
Overheard by: Katie
Tipsy girl to friend on phone: Who are you talking to?
Friend, suspiciously: No one!
Tipsy girl: Do I need to monitor your drinking?
Friend: No!
Tipsy girl: Do I need to monitor your vagina?
Friend: No!
Tipsy girl: Good, cause I don't know how I would do that.
Drunken guy from end of the bar: I can do it!
Bar
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: three_eyed_fish
