Guy on cell: Did they sell their house? (pause) Ohhh, they couldn't sell the house! (pause) Yeah…that makes sense! Ain't nobody can't get credit now, ho! (pause) Wait, I didn't mean to call you a ho, grandma.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/
Guy on cell: Did they sell their house? (pause) Ohhh, they couldn't sell the house! (pause) Yeah…that makes sense! Ain't nobody can't get credit now, ho! (pause) Wait, I didn't mean to call you a ho, grandma.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/
Female cashier: I'm tired, and really not sure why.
Man checking out: You want to know what causes tiredness?
Female cashier: What?
Man checking out: Either too much sex or not enough sex. By the looks of you, it must be too much sex.
Albertson's
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Not tired, so I must be getting enough sex
Guy coming out of bathroom: Dude, did you hear the angels singing?
Friend: What?
Guy: Man, that shit was magical.
Camp LeJeune, North Carolina
Four-year-old boy, excitedly, as he and his family are being seated: Beer! Beer! Dad, they have beer here!
El Metate Mexican Restaurant
Soddy-Daisy, Tennessee
Overheard by: Mrs. H.
Older man in baggy clothes, waiting in line: You're a Kung Fu master.
College girl (amused): How'd you know?
Older nan: I sensed your Chi.
Burger King
Worcester, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Emily
Father on phone to wife: No, it was at dinner, and then this drunk at the next table made a comment about our son. No. He said Josh looked like “a retarded page from the dark ages.” That's not funny. (long pause) I'll schedule him for a haircut tomorrow.
Pennsylvania
Small child: Hey, dad, can we take the quarters out of the fountain?
Father: Not now. That's what we do after dark, when we put our ski masks on.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/465751887/bring-your-kid-to-work-day.html
Overheard by: rappeling from the ceiling for spare change.
Male thug #1: So, am I the dad?
Male thug #2: You and all? Who else have you fucked?
Male thug #1: I know she fucked Tommy as well.
Girl thuggete: He never fucked me, he only fingered me.
Hospital
Newcastle
England
Overheard by: Judge Mental
Guy: Did you watch that Palin video I sent you?
Girl: Not yet. I have to take my pants off to watch it.
Bloomfield, Connecticut
Guy exiting art class to female friend: I sleep through that whole class. It's all I can do.
Girl: What about when she asks attendance questions?
Guy: Well, I wake up for that part. It's just… God, I hate her! She's always talking about vaginas! And I'm just like, “Hello! I know what a vagina looks like!”
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
