Middle aged woman: What is this?
Middle aged man: Oh. That's just a paper where Jesus explains the universe.
Middle aged woman: Do you need it?
Middle aged man: Yeah.
Sunrise, Florida
Overheard by: that one chick
Middle aged woman: What is this?
Middle aged man: Oh. That's just a paper where Jesus explains the universe.
Middle aged woman: Do you need it?
Middle aged man: Yeah.
Sunrise, Florida
Overheard by: that one chick
Husband trying on sandals: There's too much bullshit. What is all this bullshit on here?
Wife: I don't know…there's a lot of stuff.
Husband: It's too much bullshit. I'm not paying for all this bullshit.
Leesburg Corner Outlet Mall
Leesburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Nat
Loud man on cell: Yeah, 800,000 dollars. But let's just keep this between ourselves, okay?
Packed Commuter Train
Toronto, Canadia
Overheard by: M@
Asian chick: I'm going to meet my old boss at that Thai restaurant. You know, the one with the woman that feels me up.
Asian dude: Oh, yeah. Aren't all Thai women bisexual?
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Shringle
Girl: I shat my pants at a Barnes & Noble once.
Guy: Could it be because you ate scallops?
Girl: No, it's because the smell of books makes me poop.
Denny's
Vincennes, Indiana
Emo boy: Matt! Tell her how you fucked up your face!
Matt: I was rubbing one out in the shower and when I came, my knees gave out and I hit my head on the faucet.
Emo girl (gasping and laughing hysterically): That is best thing I have ever heard!
Starbucks
New Mexico
Guy #1: If I had to pick between icy and creamy, I'd go with a little icy.
Guy #2: I disagree, and let me tell you why.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Emily
Cashier: Did you find everything you were looking for?
Old lady: Yes. Actually, no! You don't have any vanilla frozen yogurt! You have every other flavor (getting worked up) I have a coupon for frozen yogurt! (waves it in cashier's face)
Cashier: Uh…I'm sorry! (sends a carryout to look for vanilla frozen yogurt)
Old lady: At least you had flat-iron chicken. You didn't have it last time. (glares)
Old lady's son, in a whisper: I'm glad you had flat-iron chicken, or I don't know what we would have done!
Springboro, Ohio
Overheard by: Never knew frozen yogurt was so important
(attractive couple are making out against a car. The girl's phone goes off.).
Girl: Hello? Hey, mom. No, I'm still at school. Rehearsal's going to be late today. Yeah, I'll call you. Bye!
Guy: I love when you lie.
Houston, Texas
