Quiz: Which Of These Statements Is True About Audrina from The Hills?

Guy #1, shocked and angry: Dude, she's autistic!
Guy #2: Yeah! But she's a full functioning autistic, so fuck you for judging.

Ikea
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Ferdinand

Posted on March 24, 2022
Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Insults, Maladies, Stores, Washington

I Plan to Stop Smoking Just Before That

Professor: Do we know if marijuana has any long-term effects?
Male student: Ball cancer.

Western Michigan University

Overheard by: H

Posted on March 21, 2022
Balls, Colleges & Universities, Default, Drugs, Guys, Maladies, Michigan, Questions, Students, Teachers

No Wonder It's Spreading So Fast

Teen #1 coming out of arrival gate to friend: So, when do we start coughing, sneezing and squealing to freak people out?
Teen #2: Dude, people with the swine flu don't squeal!
Teen #1: Then why the hell do they call it that?
Teen #2, jokingly: Because you have to fuck a pig to get it?
Teen #1, seriously: Well, that makes sense!

Logan Airport
Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on March 20, 2022
Airports & flights, Animals, Default, Guys, Massachusetts, Names, Questions, Sex, Teens

That's What He Calls His Penis.

Man at urinal, peeing, to no one in particular: This toilet smells like my sadness.

Bar
London
England

Overheard by: Dirty PJ

Posted on March 18, 2022
England, Guys, Pee, Philosophy, Sensory experiences

Hello? I'm Eating a Cucumber Sandwich With No Crusts!

Guy #1: What are those, zucchini?
Guy #2, with sandwich: No, they're cucumbers.
Girl: Oh please, they're like the same thing.
Guy #2: No, they're totally different. Not every phallic-shaped green vegetable is the same thing.
Girl (pauses): Why does everything have to be about penises with you?

San Diego, California

Overheard by: i just came here to clean the air ducts

Posted on March 8, 2022
California, Compare and contrast, Default, Fruit, Girls, Guys, Penis, Questions

Well, That’s a Given

HS boy #1: I love cheesecake in my mouth.
HS boy #2: You love dick in your mouth!!
HS boy #1: Well, yeah, if it has cheesecake on it!

Christiansburg, Virginia

Posted on March 7, 2022
Comebacks, Default, Food, Guys, Penis, Virginia

Consider Your Face Sucked

Boyfriend: If we were in person right now, I would totally suck your face right now.
Girlfriend: We *are* in person.
Boyfriend: Oh, yeah.
(they walk on casually)

Memorial City Mall
Houston, Texas

Posted on March 6, 2022
Couples, Default, Girls, Guys, Malls, Sexuality, Stupidity, Texas, Words

Oh, Learn How to Spell.

Adult male to adult female and teen: You know what I told her? I says “you're a cunt, with a capital K.”

Outside Skateboard Shop
Chattanooga, Tennessee

Posted on March 4, 2022
Default, Guys, Insults, Questions, Sexuality, Stores, Tennessee, Words

It Concerns Me When You Talk About Yourself in the Third Person, Mrs. Smith

Old teacher, about middle school student: Johnny’s fine until he has an audience. Then he gets all gang-bangy and tries to screw Mrs. Smith.
Young teacher: Please don’t ever say that again.

Restaurant
Redlands, California

Posted on March 3, 2022
Assholes, California, Compare and contrast, Education, Etiquette, Gossip, Grumpies, Guys, Restaurants, Sexuality, Teachers

And Look at David Hasselhoff.

Cute redhead: I don’t think I could air my laundry in an art show. It seems terribly narcissistic.
Short male companion: A little narcissism never hurt anybody!
Cute redhead: Um, it hurt Narcissus.

London
England

Posted on March 2, 2022
Comebacks, Default, England, Girls, Gripes, Guys

Guys

Oh, Learn How to Spell.