Guy to girl wearing multi-colored cowboy scarf: You're like a rainbow bandit. It's like you're going to rob me… With niceness.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Guy to girl wearing multi-colored cowboy scarf: You're like a rainbow bandit. It's like you're going to rob me… With niceness.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Guy, after burning left hand: But this is my special hand…
Friend: Why can't you just use your right hand for a while?
Guy: It's like being jerked off by a stranger.
Friend: What?
Guy: Imagine a stranger comes up to you and starts talking to you, and suddenly just starts jerking you off. (pause) Yeah. That's how it feels like.
Bayonne, New Jersey
Guy: Well, it all started during the week that I was cross-dressing…
Leeds
England
Overheard by: Paul
Man on cell: I am completely incapable of original thought.
Toronto
Canadia
Mr. Hon, hanging on car door: Hon! Tell mom here exactly where that swingers' club is, that I took you to on your birthday.
(wife says something unintelligible as she walks down path towards car)
Mom, sitting in car: Oh! That's where I used to buy ice cream when I was a little kid!
Public Pond
Kettering, Ohio
Smokin' hot Filipina girlfriend: My friend said that I should use Photoshop and imagination to do this. I have Photoshop, but where can I get imagination? I've never heard of it.
White boyfriend: You're kidding me, right?
Smokin' hot Filipina girlfriend: What?
White boyfriend: There is no software called “imagination.” Just use your imagination. Duh!
Smokin' hot Filipina girlfriend: You're so not getting a blowjob tonight.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: The white boyfriend
Guy to girl with gum: Can I have a piece of gum?
Girl: Sure, but it kind of tastes like dirt.
Guy in back of class: Ooooooh! Can I please have a piece?
Midlandstech, South Carolina
Guy: That's a cool necklace. What is it?
Girl: Oh, it's Lady Liberty. I'm a libertarian.
Guy: Oh cool. I'm a Virgo.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/05/im-fiscal-sagittarius-but-lean.html
Overheard by: student
Guy on cell: And I wanted to say, essentially, “Bitch, my office manages eight billion a year, so shut the fuck up”–but in the refined and enlightened way one would say such a thing in the country club dining room.
Santa Rosa, California
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Middle-aged guy #1: So, Hulk Hogan’s daughter was what — 16 when that show started? Now she must be 19, and she’s dating a 30-year-old?
Middle-aged guy #2: If you’re old enough to drive when you’re 16 and you’re old enough to die for your country when you’re 18, then you’re old enough to make your own decisions.
Middle-aged guy #1: You know, half of those kids that died in World War II never got to experience life as we know it. They were all probably 17-year-old virgins from Iowa.
Middle-aged guy #2: Shit, if I had a kid, I’d take him to a whorehouse in Texas as soon as he turned thirteen.
18 bus
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Are you experience?
