Guys

Telemarketer: Hi, is Mr. Sa– Sama– Samata–
Guy: Go ahead. You can do it.
Telemarketer: Sama– Samthan– Sermana–
Guy: You mean Mr. [says name]?
Telemarketer: Yes, is Mr. [repeats name] available?
Guy: Nope, sorry [hangs up phone].

Kalamazoo, Michigan

Overheard by: amused girlfriend

Girl with bright green hair: My whole family likes him, except for me.
Guy with dreadlocks: Tell them you'll go for him if he wipes off the chrome makeup and stops wearing a black latex trench coat in the summer.

Spokane, Washington

Overheard by: Nina

Good Catholic schoolboy to friend who just recited a really long prayer: Good job! You only missed one word. This one can be really hard and you almost got it perfect.
Bad Catholic schoolboy: God dammit! Jesus Christ, I'm never gonna get this bullshit memorized!

Goretti-Neumann High
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: lora

(tiny girl sneaks behind a big, tall guy for a hug)
Big guy, startled: Whoa! Why did you hug me from behind?
Tiny girl: You told me you don't like hugging me from the front because my vagina touches you!

UC Irvine, California

Male student, about an exam: What do we have to know about the external parts of the female reproductive system?
Professor: Everything! Not just for the exam, but for yourself! All of you!

Rutgers University
New Jersey

Overheard by: Marina

Woman to man carrying giant innertube: You have to return that to the tube hut. Ha! You have a tube hut in your pants!
Man: I don’t even know what that means.

Swimming Pool
Gardner, Kansas

Traffic cop: She said, “Do you like it?” and I was like, “Yeah, it looks really nice.” And then she said, “Is it subtle?” and I was like “Jenny*, you’re a black woman with orange and yellow hair!”

Plymouth, Michigan

Overheard by: Morgz

Depressed man to friends, while eating corn-on-the-cob: You know, this is just upsetting. I spent $180 today, and all I'll have to show for it is a really large shit.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/379925863/that-can-be-pretty-satisfying.html

Overheard by: suddenly a little less hungry

Drunk guy at bar: My life is an episode of Friends, only there's no girls, and everyone's Chandler.

Bar
Dayton, Ohio

Overheard by: Kristin

Goofy man wearing “pimp” shirt and “I love boobies” bracelet: Yes! Our theater is closer to my bathroom. Ha ha, you lose!
Attractive brunette : You are the worst blind date ever!

Movie Theater
Monterey ,California

Overheard by: Arkham patient